Friday, July 13, 2007

George Tries To Put Together An Entertainment Center

One thing I've noticed about our fearless leader is that whenever people disagree with him, he has two reactions: completely ignoring them or simply assuming they don't understand what he's trying to say. With his approval rating now competing with Nixon and Truman for the illustrious banner of "Worst of All-Time" (Finally! A legacy!), Bush has resorted to explaining this things I believe over and over and over. And over. His frustration becoming more and more apparent as obvious facts (like bin Laden is organizing attacks in Baghdad) fail to embed themselves in our thick skulls.

He gives speeches now like a recent college graduate trying to get his girlfriend to help him put their new IKEA piece together. "Can you give me that hex wrench? No, the small one. The one...the one that's a hexagon. Not. The. Flathead. Screwdriver. The...the...what do you mean, which one? The only fucking hex wrench that came with this fucking thing. What are you not getting here? You put the baseboard into the thing and fucking put this thing in to hold it. This thing needs to be put together well so we can put it in front of the door and prevent them from attacking us at home!"

Then, when he doesn't get the reaction he wants, he repeats himself - slower this time - with a shrug and smirk that silently ask, "Why are you so fucking stupid?"

If only he wasn't reading the directions upside down and backwards.

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