I know that goes against my last post in which I claimed I cooked like a cover band, but if you're looking for iron-strength rigidity out of a blog...well...buddy, it's time to re-examine where you're driving your life car.
It's a takeoff of the classic drink of a Greyhound. Go get some Italian grapefruit soda from Trader Joe's. It comes in a big bottle that looks like something Trader Joe's would stock. Put 2 ounces of gin in a highball loaded with ice, then fill with the soda and stir. I call it an Italian Greyhound. Add a little bit of sugar or simple syrup and you have a Neutered Italian Greyhound. Change the gin to vodka for a Female Italian Greyhound.
Find a porch, sit on it, sip your Italian Greyhound and think "I want to make love to this drink with my whole body."
(Other things I am drinking this summer: Negronis, gin mules, real daiquiris with fresh lime juice, Hoegaarden)