If you don't like something, have Calvin pee on it. Calvin peeing on things has become a completely acceptable form of discourse and it can make your point in a succinct manner. If Calvin is peeing on something on the back of your car, people will immediately know your stance on the matter. Sure, if you're driving a Chevy half-ton, people might figure you don't prefer Ford trucks, but it's the pee that really drives the point home. Pee smells bad.
But this morning, I saw a Calvin peeing decal that made basically less than no sense. Calvin was wearing a stetson hat with the Dodgers logo on it and he was peeing on a Yankees logo. Here's what I quickly gleaned from the sticker. This guy dislikes the Yankees and favors the Dodgers. And Calvin is a cowboy now.
But...but...where would Calvin - or anybody - get a cowboy hat with a baseball logo on it? And why the Dodgers and not the...Rangers or something? And why does Dodger Calvin even care about the Yankees? They're not in the same league and haven't faced off in a World Series since 1981. A good ten years before Calvin was peeing on anything!
Man, I almost ran into the center divider trying to figure out this one. This decal took home the coveted Worst Knockoff award at the 2004 Bootleg Convention at the Sands Las Vegas June 4-6. The Chinese delegation was hoping their blue-skinned Bart Simpson doll would take home the prize, but Peeing Dodger Calvin pulled off the upset.