Friday, February 15, 2008

Valentine's Day v13.0

I know what you people are thinking. How does an icy smooth player like me celebrate Valentine's Day 13 years into the ordeal? The first five years of a relationship are pretty simple. Flowers, chocolates, a prix fixe meal at someplace dimly lit, the type of garments that don't offer any protection from a cold draft.

Years 5-8 require a little more creativity to mark the occasion. Maybe an evening cruise. Maybe a trip out of town. Maybe matching red sweaters worn out to dinner.

Years 9-12 is when you start winding down the festivities. You realize it's pointless to keep spending your shared money on trifles. Basically, at this point, you're down to a card, a small bag of chocolate hearts and a paint by numbers bone session. The magic is officially gone from the day.

But what about when you've been together for 13 years? Married for five and rearing one kid? By now, your love has moved from a hypothesis to a theory to a conclusion to a proof to a law. It is stone set, no doubt about it.

Well, maybe what you do is grill up a heart-shaped ribeye for dinner.

When you grill the ribeye, make sure it's nice and reddish-pink inside. You want it to be symbolic of the occasion and also delicious. Then when that fine symbolic hunk of meat has been downed, you finish off the evening with a heart-shaped cake.

That's how you get it done on your 13th February 14th.

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