Monday, April 21, 2008

What Smug Looks Like

"Can you believe how handsome I am? Can you believe how poofy and lustrous my hair is? Can believe that all it takes is five minutes with a blow dryer? This thick step effect is totally natural. Can you believe how I have just enough stubble to look rugged without appearing unkempt for a wedding? Can you believe I'm so confident in my sexuality that I'll happily be part of a bridal party? Can you believe this woman's fiance doesn't mind me being her best friend in the world? Does he really think he can compete with my hair? He cannot. He will not. Can you believe that at the reception, when you go to the bathroom for two minutes, I'm going to hit on your wife? Can you believe I will easily get her? You'd better believe it, because that's definitely what's going to happen. Yeah, I'm made of honor. And also amazing follicles and a steel boner."

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