Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Two Great American Cities (in 1964) Ready To Go

Assuming last night's win by Dallas was an aberration, Pittsburgh and Detroit are on a collision course. Forty years ago, Pittsburgh steel went straight to Detroit, Steel City to Motor City, to become the giant Oldsmobiles that would rumble down Liberty Avenue, crashing into light poles in the snow. Man oh man, are those days ever gone. Now Chinese steel goes into Japanese cars and union pensions are just dust in the wind. All they are is dust in the wind.

But sports help us forget the bad times! And the Red Wings and Penguins are letting the good times roll right now. If military technology never advanced past tanks, the Red Wings and Penguins would be a pair of 1,000,000 pound tanks heading straight for each other on an open field. Giant Gussie and Titantic Tom, they would be called. They would have 25-man crews. They would be armed with 1500-mm barrels that could fire a 5-ton shell across three states. Their armor plating would be absolutely impenetrable. These two tanks alone could've overtaken Russia in the winter.

But as powerful as they are, one of the juggernauts has to lose. Most likely after six games of up and down pond hockey that could potentially put the NHL back on the map. Or at least in nightly highlight packages.

Word is, Mayors Ravenstahl and Kirkpatrick are going to skip the normal food bet between title game cities. No Klondikes and Primanti's versus...whatever it is they might eat in Detroit. Domino's, I guess. Or Coney dogs. Instead, they're going to wager 7,500 manufacturing jobs.

1 comment:

tykejohnson said...

man, i can't even imagine wut it must feel like to care about hockey.