If you are not Arizonza Cardinals and Lake Balboa Ladybugs wide receiver Anquan Boldin, you can keep reading this, but you don't have to.
Anquan! Calm down! I see that you're asking for a trade. Since I know everybody wants to finish their career as a Ladybug, you must want to be traded away from the Cardinals. Maybe it's because Matt Leinart stole your woman, maybe it's because you make $4 million a year while Larry Fitzgerald makes $10 million a year. Or maybe you're tired of being the NFL's annual sleeper team.
Listen, I drafted you in the third round this year. Do you know what that means? It means that you're #81 on my scorecard, but #3 in my heart. Of the entire roster, there are only two guys I like better than you. Three, if McNabb stays healthy all year.
Now, maybe it's my fault for drafting you thinking you were in a contract year when in reality you're only one year through a four-year extension. I'll take the hit on that. But nobody is trading you two weeks before the season. What you need to do is go out there in 2008, put up 1,900 yards and 21 TDs and then the Cardinals will be sure to trade you with two years left on your very reasonable contract. Reasonable for them, I mean.
Come on, Anquan. I know you can do it. Channel that anger!