LisaHansen101: Hi, sweetie!
DatelineChris: Who is this?
LisaHansen101: It's me. ;)
DatelineChris: How old are you? What is the age of consent in your state of residence?
LisaHansen101: I'm 38 and I have no idea.
DatelineChris: What can I do for you?LisaHansen101: I have a surprise when you get home!
DatelineChris: Oh yeah? What?
LisaHansen101: Kisses! xoxoxo
DatelineChris: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!
LisaHansen101: Chris, it's me.
DatelineChris: ARE YOU A FUCKIN COP?!?!??!
LisaHansen101: It's Lisa.
DatelineChris: ARE YOU FROM PERVERTED JUSTICE?!?
LisaHansen101: Chris, I'm your wife. We've been married for 12 years.
DatelineChris: Where did we get married? Where was our honeymoon?
LisaHansen101: New Jersey. Aruba.
DatelineChris: Wrong! Cancun! Nice try, but no way I'm coming to your house for sex and getting naked. I think you're underage.
LisaHansen101: It was Aruba, Chris. We went to Cancun for our five year anniversary.
DatelineChris: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!??! I CAN'T SEE YOUR FACE!!!! IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE, IT IS NOT - NOT! - MY INTENT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, ORAL, VAGINAL OR OTHER! I AM IN CLEAR LEGAL STANDING!
LisaHansen101: When are you coming home? Do you need a ride from the airport?
DatelineChris: You're old enough to drive?
LisaHansen101: Of course.
DatelineChris: That makes you legal then. Are you saying you're over the age of consent in your home state?
LisaHansen101: Chris, I am 38. I told you that.
DatelineChris: Who is this?!?
LisaHansen101: Your wife. Lisa. We are married.
DatelineChris: Oh hey, Lis. I'm home Thursday. And I need ass so bad. Wear that black lace thing under your pants when you pick me up and I'll drill you the second we walk in the door. Oh God, I can smell your snap from here.
LisaHansen101 signed off.