I have good traits and I have bad traits and to me, one of the bad traits is that I usually lose. Pools, tournaments, you name it, I have lost it. Friends and fellow competitors probably consider this a good trait, along with my willingness to keep losing year after year.
Last year, I was in a survival pool and got bounced in Week 2 when Cincinnati lost to Cleveland 51-45. Not the biggest deal in the world, except I run the pool and had to continue doing so for the next eight weeks while other people had fun. I was also in the standard fantasy football league as well as a group pool with four friends. In that one, we pick straight winners for every game and rank our picks from 16 points to 1 point. The person with the most points at the end of the season is treated to a nice dinner on the three also rans. I was not the winner. I was so far in last place that I also had to buy the first round of cocktails. The other three guys lost their 16-and 15-point game maybe once each, and I lost those ones at least five times. It wasn't uncommon last year for me to hit the shame trifecta of a Steelers loss, a fantasy loss and last place in the points pool. Then on Monday I would have to go back to work. Great start to the week!
I have DirecTV's Sunday Ticket SuperFan package. I can see every game in the league in HD, I get a special channel that shows teams in the red zone, another channel that shows every game at once and on Tuesdays, I can access 30-minute, plays-only recaps of every game. I watch at least 12 hours of NFL football a week. I could probably tell you the third receiver of every team in the league. Seattle's will probably be Ben Obomanu. Miami's is going to be Ernest Wilford, it seems. I know a lot about football. Except who is going to win a given game. That, I could not tell you with two tries.
So maybe what I need is to join another pool. And I will. In this new one I'm in, $100 gives you 2000 points to start the season. Quite simply, you bet those points against the spread or over/under until you either go bust or have the most points at the end of the year. Minimum bets start at 400 points, go up to 600 in Week 7 and up again to 800 in Week 13. You can make as many bets as you want up to your entire bankroll.
I'm already looking forward to Week 4 when the Steelers lose, the Lake Balboa Ladybugs lose 110-105 and another WVFL fantasy team wins 68-65, I get bounced from the survival pool, I lose my 16-point and 15-point games in that pool and my 600-point bankroll becomes my 0-point bankroll because Rob Bironas kicked a meaningless field goal as time expired. Good times all around.