Monday, September 22, 2008

Gun It In Neutral

Whommmmmmm! Whommmmmmm! That's what my engine sounds like right now. So loud and powerful. Sorry to get you wet, ladies. Go to Victoria's Secret for a replacement pair and send me the bill. My engine is powerful...but it's not going anywhere this week because I'm not in gear. I'm not moving forward or backwards.

The elusive white-tailed 5-0 week went into hiding Sunday. I got mauled in fantasy to the point that it's not even worth talking about, the Steelers lost, New England got me knocked out of the survival pool, I treaded water in the confidence pool and in my lone success, I took over the lead spot in the betting pool.

If the Eagles were supposed to be a benchmark opponent for the Steelers, our benchmark is currently "Not Sure Yet". The offensive line, which looked so good in the first two weeks, completely crumbled in the face of 200 Eagle blitzes. Our defense did a good job of bottling up the Eagle offense, but further review is needed before a consensus can be reached on the 2008 Pittsburgh Steelers. Baltimore comes to town next Monday night and they hardly ever blitz or play tough defense, so I'm sure our line will be fine.

Matt Cassell sucks, Ronnie Brown didn't get tackled a single time and Randy Moss is already quitting on his new quarterback who, as we already mentioned, sucks. The unfettered joy I normally feel after a Patriot loss is completely fettered today because the Patriots were my survival pick. I wanted to pick Buffalo, but gosh, they weren't ready to go 3-0, were they? No, no chance at all. You might think I'm feeling a measure of consolation because ten of us went down with Pat Patriot, but I want to win while others lose, so it's actually no consolation at all. What are you even thinking? Out in Week 2 last year, out in Week 3 this year. Puke.

Brian came into Week 3 of the confidence pool down 45 points, but won this week no matter what happens tonight in San Diego. In fact, his only two dud picks were New England and Indianapolis. Classic home favorite week! He picked up 10 points on the standard bearer, me. If he can make up three points a week for the next twelve weeks, he's right back in this thing! But I held on to first place because Max didn't make up any ground on me and Ryan only inched up three points. So my brow is completely sweat free at this point. I ain't sweatin' it!

Now for my lone success of the week, the betting pool. My early game bet, CHI/TB under 35.5, went down in the fourth quarter and just kept getting more ridiculous as those two teams went into overtime. Brian Griese throws three picks and his team still puts up 27 on the Bears and wins in Chicago. Sure, that makes sense. I can figure that one out.

But like a true champion, I played for 120 minutes and bounced back in the afternoon with JAX+5, BAL -2 and DEN/NO over 51 coming through loud and clear. As it stands now, I have 4400 points, one person is in second with 4000 points and one guy stands at 3600. After that, it starts bunching up between 3200 and 2400 points. One guy who lost five bets in two weeks bought back in, won three bets this week and now stands at 3200 points. Great strategy. All you suckers who lost one or two games a week and are dwelling around 800 points are doing this all wrong. You need to lose early, buy back in and go back to the top, just like in the college football polls. I still have SD -8.5 tomorrow, so I'll either be two bets clear of the field at 4800 stunning, glorious points, or tied for first at 4000. Both options are fine, though I have a clear preference for the one I'd choose.

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