Tuesday, October 7, 2008

WVFL Week 5 Review

The People's Elbow 89 - Lake Balboa Ladybugs 59

Lose, win, lose, win, lose. I could actually argue that my team is the most consistent in the league. I was right about the idea that Burress' fill-in could tear up the Seahawks, but I was wrong about it being Steve Smith. But even Domenik Hixon's 16 points couldn't have saved this one for the Ladybugs.

Frank Gore continues putting up double digits one year too late, the QB with the most 4th quarter and OT comebacks since 2004 had another great game and Chris Cooley had 100 yards receiving, quite the rarity for a tight end. When Felix Jones took a pitch 40 yards for a score, I figured this game was over, but I was wrong. It was over well before that.

Newbomb Turk 78 - St. A's Crusaders 60

Drew Brees and Ryan Longwell's 27 points on Monday night weren't enough to mount a comeback, mostly because the other Crusaders could only scrape together 33 points on Sunday. Tony Gonzalez needed 3 yards to set the all-time tight end receiving record and he got 17. A bronzed ball for Tony, a single point for St. A's. The silver lining is that St. A's started off 1-6 last year and will 2-6 this year, worse case scenario.

Both the Chiefs and Larry Johnson had 0 points Sunday. More specifically, Johnson had 7 carries for 2 yards, an average of 1 foot per carry. The man is 6 feet tall. Ordinarily, when your defense outscores your top back, you're in trouble, but in this case, Chicago's 18 points were the margin of victory.

Brookline Bucs 86 - LetsGoPens 72

And all of a sudden, then Bucs are on a roll! Aaron Rodgers' 23 points are the highest output by a quarterback with a bad shoulder in a home loss in WVFL history, and we even got to see the return of Randy Moss as he hauled in a 66-yard TD.

The Pens got 51 points from Owens, Portis and Brown, but Johnson, Norwood and Carlson combined for 2. Tough to take, since Johnson and Norwood are actually good.

Crafton Tough Kids 98 - Atlas Shruggz 51

Chris Perry is terrible, let's just get that out of the way up front. His 2 points are no surprise. But imagine how many points the Tough Kids could've racked up with a nicer day from Barber. It seemed obvious that Larry Fitzgerald would profit from Boldin being out. A bit too obvious? Well, yeah, maybe, but it still happened with 17 fun points. Ward and Miller both returned to the end zone, giving the Tough Kids the equivalent of a WVFL threesome. Steeler touchdowns that help you win in fantasy.

What can you say when a team loses by 47? Um...at least they didn't lose by 57, I guess. Jonathan Stewart only putting up 5 points in a 34-0 rout by his team is a special kind of pain and I said Anthony Gonzalez would slide down the ladder with the return of Dallas Clark, but I didn't realize he would go all the way to bottom rung. Chad Johnson sucks.

Purple Swirls 108 - Lowcountry All Stars 104

The 5-star gold money blowout game of the century featured a pair of 3-1 teams, Monday night heroics, the 2nd highest-scoring team losing to the 1st highest and a whole lotta points. Reggie Bush's TWO punt return touchdowns and 18 points weren't enough to get the win because the Minnesota DST put up a stunning 17 points of their own to secure the game.

I deal mainly in the cynical and negative, which isn't leaving me much to say about this game. About the only dark cloud is that the All Stars would've won if they started Roddy White over Mushin Muhammad...but even Muhammad had 13 points! It's not like that was a terrible choice. If this was a real football game, we'd be telling our great grandkids about it. But since it's fantasy, it'll be forgotten by Friday.

Iron City Pounders 102 - Stringfellow Hawks 90

While I seriously did believe that Orton could outscore Manning in this QB battle, I didn't think it would actually happen...if that makes any sense. Still, I'll take credit for a rare correct prediction even though I'm renowned for rarely wanting any credit for anything. No, no, please. I insist. This game looked close, but if you take away DeAngelo Williams' monster freak buck nasty day, the Hawks only got single points from all but two players. Williams and beard god Orton.

Robert Royal put up -2 for the Pounders and if you're wondering how such a thing is possible, he had 2 catches for 8 yards and a fumble. When you put up a -2 on a 102-point team, you get your ass cut. That's change you can believe in. I had also had Steve Slaton penciled in for a big game and he had 21 points. Man, I know everything! All of my picks are...oh, I picked the Hawks to win. Never mind.

Vanduhlay industries 94 - Deathfromabove 48

Is there some consolation prize for lowest score that I don't know about? Because it seems like every week some team is staying in the 40s. When Adrian Peterson is only putting up 3 points against a bad Saints defense, you have to be taking a dive, right? Come on, guys. What is this prize? Tell me!

Another prediction that I nailed this week is that Justin Fargas would play despite his bye and that VI would still win. Any joy that I might feel from my prognostication is the pain I feel from being one game behind a team that isn't even paying attention any more.

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