Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Irish / Americans

There's been much talk in the last eight years about what Europe and the rest of the world think of Americans. The consensus seems to be they love our movies and music, think we're a little bit crazy, definitely too religious and our President was not the greatest guy the world has ever seen.

So my mom had a trip to Ireland and brought me back a menu from a brewpub she visited. The Porterhouse Brewing Co. Pretty standard menu of their house beers and some bottles from around the world. The bottles were divided into place of origin and many countries had a cute little cartoon pun accompanying it. Things like, "Czech it out!", a Mountie saying "We always get our can!" and "Is it your round? No, we're all going Dutch!"

For America, the cartoon was Bush on the phone, next to an American flag, saying "Send in the Budweiser, troops as a last resort!" The Irish think America's biggest brewery makes a product than can kill people. The description for American beers is...

The USA had the reputation of brewing some of the world's most boring (but well advertised) beers with outrageous claims such as "The King of Beers" and "we know of no other brew which costs so much to brew". Their brewers obviously do not possess passports. A public backlash to such "products" resulted in a new wave of brewers, creating some fantastic beers.

The four American beers The Porterhouse Brewing Co. offers are Coors Light, Miller Genuine Draft, Rolling Rock and Sam Adams. Except for a nice word about Sammy, an Irish bar is selling popular American beers as kitsch. The Silver Bullet, MGD and the Rock are all starred as Brewed Under Licence. Ten pages after the beer list is a box labelled Tips for Avoiding Bland Beer.

Guzzlers, you need to avoid...lite, dry, cold-filtered, ice, smooth, cream, clean, beer advertised with the word "flow", beer advertised on TV, beer with sports tournaments named after them and beer Brewed Under Licence. They say that BUL beers are usually brewed in Ireland and are sold as exotic American imports.

Except for the Ukrainian Zhiguli, only those three Yank beers are listed as BUL. They are telling you...not to buy...any American beers...even the ones they offer.

If that isn't enough for you, the description under Coors Light is...

Why not try one of the original facist beers! Currently re-writing their past. Funded Ronald Reagan in order to dismantle the toxic waste disposal laws of Colorado, caught. Would make a great film. (see page 25)

And then on page 25 is an excerpt from an old Irish Times about the extremely right-wing Joseph Coors funding Ronald Reagan's Presidential run, then getting his friend James Watt installed as head of the EPA so the government would cease environmental regulation in Colorado.

In the end, a score of appointees pushed on to the adminstration by the Coors group were criminally convicted for their part in the environmental fiasco.

So when you're in the grocery store Sunday morning buying some cold brew dogs for a day of football, if you're buying a 30-pack of Coors Light and talking about Palin 2012...the Irish think you're a joke. Maybe you care, maybe you don't.

1 comment:

LJ Schacht said...

Don't they know that Bud Light has drinkability.

and just how are you supposed to know when your guiness is cold enough to drink? I don't see any blue mountains...