One Day With The Cup def. Abomidable Snowmen - 7-5-1
I'm operating under the assumption that I took back the GAA category Sunday night, though since I had 8 goalie starts this week, I have no idea how to do the math. It's possible that this match finished 6-6-1. One thing that was not close, however, was PIMs. ODWTC finished with 40 PIMs to 6 for the Snowmen in a show of overwhelming force not seen since Desert Storm.
The Cuppers finished +8 for the week, which is all the more impressive when you factor in Andy McDonald's -5. Being a power play specialist is one thing. Not taking a stick onto the ice for even strength shifts is another. Olli Jokinen had 0 points, but 10 PIMs, showing a real willingness to chip in however possible. Alex Auld was 0-3 this week, a victim of Ottawa's ongoing inability to decide whether or not Alfredsson should play with Heatley. When the elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.
All three Snowmen creaseminders went 1-0, but Osgood didn't get credited for an OT loss when he allowed three straight to Jordan Staal. Lidstrom had 3 assists, but was actually the worst Snowmen dman. Even Kronwall had 4 assists and 3 PPP. Maybe the first time in 13 years that Lidstrom wasn't the best Red Wing defenseman. Remember this week so you can tell your grandtots.
Dynamo Mockba def. obamanators - 11-0-2
For the second straight week, Nate has been straight handed five categories because his opponent didn't hit the goalie requirements. I don't want to say his record is fake, but Mockba is lot like the Rangers leading the Patrick Division by 6 points a couple of weeks ago because they had played 4 more games than anybody else. Though, in fairness, Backstrom had 2 wins and 1 goal allowed this week. Sure, Huet got lit up and lost Sunday, but whatever.
Gene Malkin had 8 points and both of Nate's left wings had 3 & 1, but those right wings are leaving a gap in the scoresheet right now. For the obamators, Kovalchuk had the same stats as Keith Ballard. And since Ballard didn't have an amazing week, it's bad. Donuts across the board for Ballard and Kovalchuk. Ales Kotalik didn't score either, but at least chipped in a -4 to get into the stats.
Keystone Winterhawks def. Medicine Hat - 7-2-4
The Winterhawks had three ridiculous stats this week, and you'll have to choose which is your favorite. A) 20 team goals. B) Jordan Staal having 5g, 1a and a +6. C) Ovechkin putting up 5g, 5a and a +11. Actually, make it four crazy stats. D) Ovechkin, Mike Green and Staal combined to go +24, but the team only finished at +17 for the week.
The most interesting thing for Medicine Hat this week is either that they played 5 goalies and finished 1-2 in net or that Drew Doughty is on defense for them. Unless this is a 22-team keeper league, Drew Doughty should not be on your team. Alfredsson only had 2 points, so maybe he does need to be with Heatley after all.
The Awful Stench def. Kitchener Ks - 6-5-2
Kitchener's -2 for the week was good enough to win the category...by 6. Oof. And their 6 goals were good enough to win that category by 2. This wasn't exactly the Winter Classic. Despite their amazing offensive prowess, Kitchener didn't win any of the goalie categories. They went 1-5 in the paint and Kevin Weekes' save percentage is listed as INF. I don't think you can have an infinite save percentage, so maybe that is short for infirmed. And on Friday, Kitchener benched LeClaire for Weekes, who didn't play. LeClaire allowed 1 goal in a win and had a .973 save percentage, while Weekes scratched his baseball hat and tried to figure what an INF save percentage is. It is not a good time in net for Kitchener right now.
The entire Stench defense corps had 2 assists and a -4 for the week. Not good. Sidney Crosby basically had a better week than the rest of his team combined. And the Stench won! Whoa.
IC Pounders on Ice def. Dublin Donkey Punch - 7-4-2
Lundqvist and Ellis combined to go 5-0 with a 2.09 and .939 for the Pounders. You are not going to lose too many weeks with those kinds of numbers in net. Another interesting thing about the Pounders is that they've forsaken a third goalie for a fifth defensemen, but they only got 2 assists out of those guys.
Nicklas Backstrom (the offensive one) had 9 assists and a +10 this week. What the hell was going on in DC this week? Were the Caps so into Obama that they just partied on offense all week? And why didn't those good vibes carry over to Joe Theodore on Saturday? The 1998 throwback combo of Sakic and Hejduk did not do all that much because it is now 2008 and we have a half-black, half-Chinese Muslim President. Hide your now-illegal guns!
Whitechapel Rippers def. Camelsfoot Range - 8-3-0
What's going on with the Range this year? The third blowout loss of the season has their toes touching the bottom of the pool for maybe the first time ever. Even 15 goals and 17 assists didn't matter all that much. The Flower went 2-0, but with a GAA of 4.43 and a save percentage of .852. You might recall the game last Tuesday when he let in 6 and still won. Jordan Staal? Ringing any bells? Sinking toward the bottom has Caulen cleaning out some lockers. After Liles and Spacek contributed 0 points and a -4. they were sacked, and after Scott Hartnell almost split open his chin on a shootout attempt, he was 86ed. Cam Barker is the answer! With three Blackhawks on his team, Caulen now cheers through the national anthem before each game.
Whitechapel actually took the GAA and save categories with a 3.59 and .872. Seems like Christmas came five weeks early. Derick Brassard continued his assault on what we know about rookies with 4 points, but Derek Roy's -6 is not good mentoring of the lad.