It's the holidays! We should be eating cookies and drinking eggnog, not reviewing ghosts of fantasy hockey past! This is going to be a quick one.
One Day With The Cup tied IC Pounders on Ice - 5-5-3
ODWTC has the 3rd best head to head record in goals, 2nd best in PPG and best in PPP. We lost all three categories this week. We did not play to our strengths! But 27 big assists gave us the most assists in the league, which is a nice thing in this holiday season. We give!
Zetterberg only had a single assist this week. He was much happier last year on The Milburys. Zach Parise, of all people, had 7 points this week.
Dynamo Mockba def. The Awful Stench - 7-2-4
Nate must be on vacation, because he had Malkin benched all week and missed out on his 6 points. Of course, Mockba still won G and A, so maybe Nate was just sending a message. Patrik Elias had 8 points this week. What the hell has gotten into the Devils?
The Stench had 2 GWG and 1 SO. Those are the two categories they won. Crosby only had 2 points (trade him!) and Tim Thomas had a win with a .750 GAA and .783 save %. Those are some interesting numbers.
Whitechapel Rippers def. Medicine Hat - 9-2-2
The WVHL is starting to separate like Italian dressing. On the top, you have the six playoff teams represented by clean, golden oil. On the bottom, the six other teams, represented by murkiness and all sorts of chunks of shit. The Rippers have been slowly floating toward the top all season.
And Medicine hat is sinking to the bottom like a clove of garlic.
Kitchener Ks def. Camelsfoot Range - 8-3-2
Looks like Poppadoo can still teach his boys a few tricks here and there. Caulen claims he's been too focused on football to think about a hockey team that's currently 14 games under .500, but we all know that the truth is his team isn't very good, even with Matt Hunwick on defense. Also, if you just picked up Matt Hunwick, you are most definitely paying attention to hockey.
Some good Boston players are David Krejci and Phil Kessel, and they combined for 6g, 7a for Kitchener this week. Kyle Quincey was -7 with only 4 PIMs. Useful. Scott Clemmensen has filled in for Kitchener as nicely as he has for New Jersey.
Keystone Winterhawks def. Dublin Donkey Punch - 10-2-1
Is anybody going to go to the trouble of stopping this Winterhawks team? If they're going to score 19 goals while always going 4-0 in net with a shutout, that is simply unfair. Allow me to spin a cautionary tale if you don't mind. One year, I dominated the WVHL regular season to the point that the point gap between 1st and 2nd place was equal to the gap between 2nd and 6th place. I lost my first playoff game.
Dublin only had 8 PIMs this week. Taking it easy, I guess.
Abomidable Snowmen def. obamanators - 7-2-4
The obamanators are now in sole possession of last place and they have to move a lot of dirt just to get up to 11th. The obamanators have the fewest goals, a league-worst -28, the fewest PPG, PPP and the fewest GWG. They also have the fewest L, which is actually a good thing, the best GAA and the most SOs. They could use a little balance.
Joe Thornton has 37 points this season for a team that had the best 30-game start in NHL history, but nobody ever talks about him.