LAST WEEK: 3-3
When the turkey's in the brine and you are full of wine, that's amore. It's also a great time to do a weekly preview that is sure to be chockablock with typos. By the way, tomorrow we are having sausage stuffing. That's right, we're stuffing the damn turkey with sausage and bread. If you've never had sausage stuffing (unlike your wife, oh!) my recommendations are high.
THE NEV-R-WINS (6-5) at DEATHFROMABOVE (9-2)
In the middle of next week, I'm going to do a playoff scenario column, but it's entirely possible I could miss the playoffs with the second-most points in the league. And if that happens, you will NEVER hear the end of it.
Yahoo! seems to think I'm going to get my dick kicked off this week, and Cedric Benson missing games against Oakland and Cleveland isn't helping any. Although I'd like Yahoo! to explain how Jason Snelling is down for 16 points, but Bernard Scott only gets 7. Fuck off, Yahoo!
It seems like I'm going to end up in another deal where it's Monday night and I'm hoping my wide receiver can outscore the guy who throws to him. That failed last week and it'll probably fail this week.
THE PICK: DEATHFROMABOVE 101 - THE NEV-R-WINS 95
IRON CITY POUNDERS (5-6) at ST. A'S CRUSADERS (5-6)
Here's what I know about the Indy/Houston game this Sunday. Houston will lead for most of the game, then lose late. Here's what I don't know. How many points Addai will score. Or Slaton. But I do know that Hightower won't do junk against Tennessee and that it's a shame that Caulen didn't get to Rock Cartwright first.
Yahoo! already has Green Bay down as 26-0 winners at Detroit, so if that's what actually happens, look out.
THE PICK: ST. A'S CRUSADERS 89 - IRON CITY POUNDERS -81
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW (3-8) at TURD SANDWICH (8-3)
This might be the first game all year in which the Elbow were favored, but why Yahoo! thinks Thomas Jones will put up 17 points on Carolina is beyond me. In fact, Carolina is going to win this game. Also, Nate is starting the Baltimore defense, thus rooting for Ben picks, thus being a terrible person.
Turd Sandwich is going to lose this game when Schaub throws a late pick and the -2 is just enough to give the Elbow the win.
THE PICK: THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 80 - TURD SANDWICH 79
FIREROCK ROCKERS (5-6) at DOPPELGANGER (2-9)
Clint has now turned his helmet logo upside down, making it official that he has too much time on his hands. I'm not wasting any more time on this crap game.
THE PICK: FIREROCK ROCKERS 90 - DOPPELGANGER 65
PURPLE SWIRLS (5-6) at BROOKLINE BUCS (4-7)
Both of these teams suck and it's getting late.
THE PICK: BROOKLINE BUCS 85 - PURPLE SWIRLS 84
WHIZ-BANG GANG (9-2) at ATLAS SHRUGGZ (5-6)
THE PICK: WHIZ-BANG GANG 101 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 75