LAST WEEK: 2-4
THE NEV-R-WINS (4-4) at BROOKLINE BUCS (3-5)
Although it would be like me to lose this one and end up with the same record as a team with a 100 fewer points, I'm not too worried about. Skip Henry hasn't changed his anti-smack post from last week, and it's probably more fitting for this matchup. My main concern is the the Baltimore-Cincinnati doesn't end up 10-7, since I have both backs in that game. But I picked up John Carlson as a fill-in TE this week, and I'm sure he's dying to stick it to Scott Henry one last time. One last breakup screw.
The Niner defense isn't as easy to stretch out as the Jaguars, so it's unlikely Chris Johnson will more more 115-yard touchdown runs this week.
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 110 - BROOKLINE BUCS 78
IRON CITY POUNDERS (5-3) at TURD SANDWICH (5-3)
Seems like every week now we have two first place teams squaring. Although with five teams currently tied for the top spot, maybe this one isn't so special. Plus, how can any game with Jamaal Charles involved be special? I know he inherited the starting job by default, but that starting job is still in Kansas City.
Turd Sandwich might be holding on to that Jets defense through the bye week because, hey, it's better to start no defense than drop Tashard Choice. I guess. Despite Roy Williams' thoughts on the matter, Miles Austin is the #1 receiver in Dallas, but Philly should bottle him up. Steve Smith is still the #1 receiver in Carolina, but that's more of an honorarium at this point.
Between Ryan, Gonzalez and Turner, the Redskin defense is going to have a lot to say about who wins this one.
THE PICK: TURD SANDWICH 75 - IRON CITY POUNDER 70
ST. A'S CRUSADERS (4-4) at DOPPELGANGER (1-7)
Here's what's interesting about Doppelganger. Favre, Braylon and Steven Jackson all have a bye this week, which looks bad for them. But sitting on the bench ready to play are Gore, Romo and Brandon Marshall. This team has a lot of name players, but the fewest points and wins.
Seems weird. A little too weird. You know what? I'm calling this one for the Doppeldogs*.
*Depends on Clint actually changing his lineup for the game.
THE PICK: DOPPELGANGER 100 - ST. A'S CRUSADERS 90
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW (2-6) at WHIZ-BANG GANG (6-2)
About the most interesting in this game is the teams' inverse records, so I'm going to use them to predict an inverse game. The end.
THE PICK: WHIZ-BANG GANG 98 - THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 89
FIREROCK ROCKERS (5-3) at PURPLE SWIRLS (4-4)
Kress relatives play each other in our league about as often as two first place teams do, so I don't think the entire family is gathering to watch this one. Caulen won the Ryan Moats waiver wire race, but will ultimately lose when Moats doesn't score three more TDs all season. He also doesn't have a TE this week because he'd rather have two defenses on his roster. To each his own.
The Rockers have three inconsistent backs and one rookie receiver who is a complete all or nothing propostion each week.
THE PICK: PURPLE SWIRLS 88 - FIREROCK ROCKERS 80
DEATHFROMABOVE (6-2) at ATLAS SHRUGGZ (3-5)
I have to take the kid to gymnastics right now. No time for pithy analysis.
THE PICK: DEATHFROMABOVE 121 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 75