THE NEV-R-WINS 112.56 - BROOKLINE BUCS 74.96
Randy Moss' stiff arm on Vontae Davis pretty much summed up this one. If you missed it, Moss caught a crossing route, jammed Davis in the facemask with an open palm and trotted home for a 73-yard score.
Austin Collie did not stiff arm anybody in the face and only put up 2.6 points. Chris Johnson could've run for 315 yards instead of 135, and it still wouldn't have been enough.
The Nev-R-Wins came out of the bye week fiasco with their sixth 100+ point game in eight tries and seem like they should not be trifled with under most circumstances.
TURD SANDWICH 101.64 - IRON CITY POUNDERS 82.80
Matt Schaub put up a lot of points from somebody who was brutally awful in the first half and Miles Austin only had one catch and Antonio Gates dropped two easy first downs and Ocho is going to be suspended for life jokingly bribing an official and Knowshon had 3 yards rushing against the Steelers. All these bad things, and the Turds still ran away with it.
As I pointed out Friday, Jamaal Charles still has to run behind the line that could never spring Larry Johnson. Lots of things are entirely Larry Johnson's fault, but the weak Chiefs rushing game is not one of them. That is only partially his fault.
ST. A'S CRUSADERS 105.80 - DOPPELGANGER 53.80
Thanks to Tyrone Carter and the Steelers defense, it didn't matter, but I still want to bring this up. Doppelganger started Favre, Braylon and Steven Jackson, all of whom had byes. If he started Romo, Gore and Marshall - three guys SITTING ON HIS BENCH - he would've scored 101.78. Actually, it's a good thing Tyrone Carter scored that defensive TD, or else I'd be writing another 10,000 words about Doppelganger right here.
I'm glad I don't have to, because I play them this week and don't need the karmic sword of Damocles hanging over my head all week.
The Crusaders remind me of something I saw Thursday night at the Kings/Penguins game. The Kings have a "Hero of the Night" tribute before each game. A serviceman is introduced and gets to stand next to the anthem singer. During a break in the second period, they start talking about this sailor again and the crowd starts cheering. They cut to a shot of him in the stands and the crowd goes wild. The sailor stands...and then unfurls a towel that reads LET'S GO PENS. The crowd pauses for a second, wonders what to do when a hero betrays you, and then starts booing.
Like that brave sailor, the Crusaders took advantage of an opportunity that was presented to them.
WHIZ-BANG GANG 95.54 - THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 72.22
I guess I'm going to keep talking about it until people notice, but the WBG is a fraud. Just like I'm going to keep saying Andy Reid is an idiot until everbody notices. WHY ARE YOU CHALLENGING THE SPOT IF YOU'RE GOING FOR IT ON FOURTH DOWN ANYWAY?!?
Every week, two players seem to go off for the Whizzers and it's two different guys every week. Eventually, none of their players will have a 77-yard touchdown, and they will get crushed.
Antonio Bryant didn't play this week for some mysterious reason. This is a little convoluted, but...if Nate dropped him for Chris Chambers, then dropped the Bears defense (facing a high-octane Cardinals team) for a defense like Tennessee or Cincinnati...he would've won.
PURPLE SWIRLS 111.70 - FIREROCK ROCKERS 79.32
TK putting up his lowest total of the season so his son could win and stay in the playoff hunt is fishier than George W. being handed control of an oil company with no experience in anything.
Though unlike GWB, who ran Arbusto into the ground because he couldn't find oil in Texas, Caulen won this game on his own. Fitzgerald continued his trend of huge games when Boldin is out and Mike Sims-Walker put up 20 points of his own.
Ryan Moats fumbled going out of bounds at the 1-yard line late in the first half, and even though he scored a touchdown later, he basically gave his job right back to Steve Slaton.
DEATHFROMABOVE 96.68 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 71.84
DeSean Jackson has something like six touchdowns of 50+ yards this season, but he only had 2.9 this week. That counts as a minor upset.
Mike Wallace scored 13.2 points and pretty much cemented Limas Sweed's roller coaster ride from steal of the draft to bust of the year.