LAST WEEK: 1-1
Although it's half a bitch move, like agreeing to pick up a friend at the airport then showing 45 minutes late, I'm writing this preview after two games have been played. And it's gonna be short. Perhaps it's three-quarters of a bitch move.
THE NEV-R-WINS (9-5) at TURD SANDWICH (10-3)
I am on the cusp of the best football season of my life. I'm in a four-man confidence pool where the winner gets dinner at a place of his choice and I have such a big lead that I've already picked a place. I'm also currently in first place in a betting pool that pays out $2760 for first and I'm in the fantasy playoffs for the first time. In other words, something has to give. After seeing Miles Austin post 19.9 points tonight, I think it might be fantasy.
I am legitimately debating starting Arian Foster over Randy Moss tomorrow. Not only would that put four Texans in my lineup, it would have me starting Arian Foster over Randy Moss. On the other hand, Moss is pulling a seven-eighths bitch move lately and the Rams cancelled practice twice this week because of swine flu.
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 97 - TURD SANDWICH 95
WHIZ-BANG GANG (11-3) at DEATHFROMABOVE (10-3)
It must be frustrating to post 19.2 points on Thursday and still be trailing. On the other hand, it must be frustrating to 26 points on Thursday and not be way out in front.
Amazingly, the marquee matchup of Reggie Wayne versus MoJoDo Thursday could be trumped by the Monday night under-under-undercard of Fred Davis versus Quinton Gather. Come Tuesday morning, whoever loses this one will be angrily gnawing an Egg McMuffin while cursing a heretofore unknown Redskin.
THE PICK: WHIZ-BANG GANG 81 - DEATHFROMABOVE 78