We'll cover this more in the Super Bowl preview, but the printer at Whiz-Bang Gang headquarters is in danger of overheating as GM Larry Schacht prints out all of the bulletin board material I've given them over the last two months.
THE NEV-R-WINS 107.42 - TURD SANDWICH 95.58
Let's address the elephant in the room right up front. His name is Packy D. Erm.
"Packy, is it true that if Turd Sandwich started Steve Smith, they would've won this game?"
"No, you're the dummy!"
"Jesus Christ, Packy. Blow your moment in the spotlight a little harder."
Here's the beauty of fantasy football. You put a good team together, you play hard all year, you pencil in Steve Smith as your fles starter all week, you hear Michael Turner is a surprise starter Sunday morning, you put in Turner, you lose. That's all there is to it. Fantasy football truly is the sweet science of kings.
Andre Johnson has about 370 yards and 53 fantasy points in the last two weeks, Philip Rivers is garnering MVP talk and Ray Rice apparently can't be tackled. These are all good things for me.
WHIZ-BANG GANG 140.62 - DEATHFROMABOVE 124.50
For the second time in two weeks, the team with the 2nd-highest weekly score was bounced from the playoffs. And apparently you can get rusty in fantasy football, because both bye teams were ejected this week.
It doesn't help that DFA was outscored by 30 at the QB spot, continuing Tom Brady's disappointing year. Going into Buffalo and posting 7.3 probably sent DFA back to Babies R' Us to return that bottle warmer they bought. Jackson, Jackson and Jackson-Drew had tremendous weeks, but all for naught.
You would think that Larry would feel a little dirty rooting for Rodgers to keep the fireworks going on the Steelers, but then you wouldn't know Larry very well. He can sell out any long-time favorites at the drop of a dime.
By the way, Larry was considering starting DeAngelo Williams until I talked him into playing Wells instead. The difference between Wells' 17 and Williams' 1 is why the Whiz-Bang Gang won. If I lose to this team in the finals, I will probably recall that conversation a few times in the spring.