Thursday, December 3, 2009

WVFL Playoff Picture

First comes Thanksgiving and then Christmas. In between, a new American holiday, Week 14 of the NFL season. Which is also...opening week of the fantasy playoffs. There's no traditional meal (yet), but the drinking is just as hearty and so is the mirth.

Unlike last year when something like ten teams had a shot at five playoff spots, the WVFL playoff picture is 66.6666666666666666666666666666666666667% solidified already, with four teams having clinched berths. (Yes, it's berths, not births. I think it has something with the preponderence of rail travel before the the '50s, as rooms on rail cars were called berths. You can call me Mikipedia now.)

But just because only two spots are left doesn't mean we don't have some hot, hot action. In fact, only The People's Elbow and Doppelganger have been formally eliminated, although anti-asterisks do not appear next to their names in the standings.

SO! Who needs what to happen when to end up where? Let's find out.

ELIMINATED

The People's Elbow and Doppelganger

  • I just told you. Though you may be stunned to learn that the two last place teams actually have the fewest points as well. And you'll definitely be stunned to learn that the Elbow has a 90-point lead on Doppelganger for avoiding the Ex-Presidents' Trophy.

BYE WEEKS

Whiz-Bang Gang

  • Clinch home field advantage (a server farm in South Bangalore) with a win.
  • Or if either Turd Sandwich or Deathfromabove lose.
  • Or if they lose and both TS and DFA win, but WBG outscores DFA this week by 5.09 or TS by 20.01.

Turd Sandwich

  • Clinch a bye with a win and a DFA loss
  • Or a loss, a DFA loss and DFA does not outscore TS by more than 14.92
  • Or a win, a DFA win, a WBG loss, DFA does not outscore TS by more than 14.92 and WBG does not outscore TS by more than 19.99.

Deathfromabove

  • Clinch a bye with a win and a TS loss
  • Or a loss, a TS loss and they outscore TS by more than 14.92
  • Or a win, a TS win, a WBG loss and WBG does not outscore them by more than 5.09
  • Or a win, a TS win, a WBG loss and they outscore TS by more than 14.92

WILD CARDS

The Nev-R-Wins

  • Clinch #4 seed with a win or an Iron City Pounder loss
  • Or a loss, an ICP win an ICP does not outscore them by more than 100.07 points.

Iron City Pounders

  • Clinch a playoff spot with a win
  • Or a loss and a Rockers loss, Crusaders/Shruggz loss, Bucs loss and Swirls loss
  • Or a loss, a Rockers win but they outscore the Rockers by more than 67.91.
  • Or a loss, a Rockers win, the winning Crusaders don't outscore them by more than 12.44 or the winning Shruggz don't outscore them by 47.12, a Bucs loss or a Swirls loss
  • All the above, plus the winning Bucs don't outscore them by more than 16.48 or the winning Swirls don't outscore them by more than 66.34

Firerock Rockers

  • Clinch a playoff spot with a win if the winning Crusaders don't outscore them by 80.34 or the winning Shruggz don't outscore them by more than 115.02, the winning Bucs don't outscore them by more than 84.38 and the winning Swirls don't outscore them by 134.24
  • Eliminated with a loss.

St. A's Crusaders

  • Clinch with a win, a Rockers loss, the winning Bucs don't outscore them by more than 4.04, and the winning Swirls don't outscore them by more than 53.90.
  • Or the above scenarios, but with a Rocker win if they outscore the Rockers by more than 80.34.
  • Or the first scenarios, a Rockers win, an ICP loss and they outscore the Pounders by more than 12.44.
  • Eliminated with a loss.

Brookline Bucs

  • Take the Crusader scenarios and add 4.04 to each number.
  • Or a Crusaders loss to or to score 4.05 points more than the Crusaders.
  • Or a win, a Crusaders loss, a Rocker loss, the winning Shruggz don't outscore them by more than 30.64 and the winning Swirls don't outscore them by more than 49.86

Atlas Shruggz

  • Take the Crusader scenarios and add 34.68 to each number.
  • Or a win, a Bucs loss, a Rocker loss and the winning Swirls don't outscore them by more than 19.22

Purple Swirls

  • Take the Crusader scenarios and then forget about it.

Whew. That was like trying to figure out how many different license plates can be created from three letters followed by four numbers so I could get into Dartmouth. And I still probably left something out. Anyway, have those calculators handy Monday night!

(Or just click the League Standings tab in StatTracker, which shows updated standings in real time.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Better late than never................