LAST WEEK: 2-0
It's Christmas Eve and a few traditions are continuing unabated in the Krogmann household. It's A Wonderful Life is on, I've already consumed a large bottle of Belgian beer and my wife is wrapping presents by herself since I'm utterly unable to wrap presents without needing to patch up big gaps with extra paper.
Writing a fantasy football preview is a new twist, though.
By the way, nobody is ever going to care for two seconds, but going 17 games over .500 picking NFL games would be impressive. Going 17 games over .500 picking fantasy football may be better than actually winning the title. I mean, seriously, who could do that?
THE NEV-R-WINS (10-5) at WHIZ-BANG GANG (12-3
In August, it struck me than NFL backs were beyond random for fantasy purposes and with the passing game taking over for the running game as the dominant approach, maybe opening the draft back-back was no longer the way to go. Of course, lots of other people thought this as well and I also told people that if I got the #2 pick, I was taking Matt Forte.
But I didn't get the #2 pick. I was on the phone with Nate and pixie dream girl employee for the pulling of the draft order when I heard my team name called first...meaning I was picking last. After half-considering dropping out of the league, I began analyzing which backs might be available at the 12 spot. I didn't want Frank Gore ever again after what he did to me 2 years ago. I didn't trust Steve Slaton to repeat last year. I knew Brandon Jacobs sucked. (Amazingly, he went 9th overall.) Kevin Smith played for Detroit, Marion Barber wasn't great...about the only back I seriously considered at 12 was Ryan Grant, because I thought the Packers were going to be really good.
So I ended up taking Andre Johnson and Randy Moss, then basically lucked out with Ray Rice and Cedric Benson. Even though I was targeting them as later round backs, let's be honest, if those two don't pan out, I'm probably going 4-10 in a 13-game season. And now here I am in the title game for the first time ever, boring the hell out of everybody. Sounds about right. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I hit a par 5 in 2 shots?
On another note, next year, with our league's crazy scoring, I might draft QB-QB. Did you realize that Jay Cutler, in the midst of an historically bad season, is the 22nd highest-scoring player in our league. Or that DeSean Jackson, having an historically explosive season, is only the 25th? Or that 12 of the top 15 highest scorers are QBs? Hell, Jason Campbell has more points than Andre Johnson, the only receiver to crack the 200 mark. It might be time to change passing to 50 yards a point.
Okay, now that the traditional three-hour pregame gabfest is over, let's talk about the actual Super Bowl.
Aaron Rodgers, the #1 scorer in our league, is certain to put up points against a terrible Seattle team this week, but Whiz-Bang Gang first rounder and #6 overall pick DeAngelo Williams is most likely out. That leaves Beanie Wells in at running back, but at least Arizona is playing St. Louis. And for the second week in a row, Larry has to silently root for somebody to torch the Steelers, this time Derrick Mason. Too bad Mason's beard is older than his quarterback. With Darrelle Revis likely to blanket Reggie Wayne, Peyton will be more than happy to throw the ball to somebody you've never heard of, like Blankanian DeMaurice, the only wide receiver in league history to wear #62.
The Nev-R-Wins have cracked 100 in both playoff games in four of the last six and ten overall. This is a high-powered offense, especially now than Randy Moss is mad at fat sportswriters. Rice won't run for many yards on the Steelers, but backs who catch dump off passes can always rack up yards and points on us. And the only thing that would slow down Cedric Benson against Kansas City would be be dumb old Larry Johnson. But Johnson has no connection to Chris Henry and won't be nearly as inspired, right?
In the end, I have always been great at fantasy football, but this is the first year I'm actually proving it. I could tell you why, but I don't feel like it.
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 101 - WHIZ-BANG GANG 88