THIS WEEK: 1-0
First of all, I already spoke with Visanthe Shiancoe and told him there was no need to show up the Whiz-Bang Gang and outscore the Minnesota defense when we had the game in hand. As a punishment, I sprayed him in the face of a bottle of champagne, then let him drink the remaining third bottle. But it was Andre pink champagne. Real dog stuff.
I find it all too appropriate that after I called the WBG fraudalent frauds all season they limped to 59.68 points in the big game. As I told Larry on the phone Sunday - after I asked him how the underside of my glans looked - it was bad luck that Rodgers was so good against Seattle that he got pulled early. And it was further bad luck that he was relying on Josh Cribbs and Beanie Wells.
That said, a stat line of 2 catches, 8 yards, 2 touchdowns for Randy Moss is useful in fantasy life, though not entirely impressive. Fortunately, Moss added another 37 yards and a third touchdown to not humiliate me.
All in all, this game was won on draft day. My first seven picks - Johnson, Moss, Rice, Rivers, Benson, Holmes, Shiancoe - combined for 106.16 points in the title game. Shades of The Emperor in 1974 pulling Swann, Lambert, Stallworth and Webster out of the pile. Oh, and Jimmy Allen.
In contrast, The Whiz-Bang Gang's first seven picks - DeAngelo Williams, Wayne, Rodgers, Larry Johnson, Roy Williams, Jamal Lewis, Cotchery - combined for 17.38 points in the final, mainly because most of them were long cut.
When I saw Brian Brohm would be getting his first career start for the Bills, I merrily picked up the Falcons defense and rode the inevitable defensive touchdown to another 21 points. Yes, my incredible football acumen has finally been rewarded after a WVFL career that has seen me finish 11th, 7th, 8th (out of 10) and 9th the last four times out.
Now I can turn my attention back to hockey, where my situation at the goalie situation borders on ridiculously pathetic. As I posted on the league message board, there are two ways to get your remittance to me and we'll see you all back here next fall.