I may have gotten blown out last week, but some of my picks are nearing clairvoyance. I predicted the Pounders would beat the Finest 87-69 and the final was 87.18 - 68.94. I said the WBG would have 84 and they put up 82.92, and I said the Rockers would have 59 before they put up 57.90.
Of course, I also said the Shruggz would have 57 and that was off by a touch. Or 60.
But still! Paypal me $19.99 and I tell you what the future holds for you, both romantically and professionally.
THE NEV-R-WINS (3-2) at IRON CITY POUNDERS (4-1)
If Dwayne Bowe can't put up points against the Texan secondary, he's officially officially a bust. Right now, he's just officially a bust. I'm actually picking Dallas and Kansas City to win, so my backs might be down a bit. But the Pats will be looking to prove a point with Moss gone and Jennings can have some balls back with Finley crumpled.
Malcom Floyd is not going to have another 200-yard day, let's just address that right now. And Matt "5 or 20" Forte is due for a 5 day after last week. What are the chances I'm sweating out defensive points come Monday night? Pretty good, actually.
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 89 - IRON CITY POUNDERS 84
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW (2-3) at ST. A'S CRUSADERS (4-1)
Two teams heading in opposite directions at a high rate of speed. Tito Santana rolled off the mat at the last second and The People's Elbow has landed with a thud. A starting backfield of Earnest Graham and Correll Buckhalter is a plea for help. It looks so odd that it's probable cause to be pulled over on the interstate.
The Crusaders are good and not starting Buckhalter and Graham. Yet another difference between these two teams. Just like real life, Ben and Santonio are going to return from suspension to a triumphant victory.
THE PICK: ST. A'S CRUSADERS 120 - THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 60
BROOKLINE'S FINEST (3-2) at PURPLE SWIRLS (4-1)
With his keeper hockey team roaring out of the gate, Caulen probably thought about the Swirls half of once this week. And that kernel of a thought was, "Anthony Armstrong caught one long pass last week, lemme pick him up."
Matt Schaub can really suck sometimes, you know that? And Carnell Williams sucks all of the time. But Gore and Mendenhall should run free this Sunday.
This game is like the first secretive call to Woodward and Bernstein. A single thread has come loose and soon everything will unravel as the Swirls are exposed for the frauds that they are.
THE PICK: BROOKLINE'S FINEST 89 - PURPLE SWIRLS 84
HAWKS (2-3) at LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS (1-4)
Philip Rivers is a pass-throwing, curse-avoiding, teammate-blaming machine and he cannot be stopped, durn it. But Mike Sims-Walker is eminently stoppable. Boldin will tear up the JV-level Pats secondary.
It's odd that Brett Favre welcomed Randy Moss to Minnesota by showing him his dong, but that's how it goes in pro sports. I like Josh Freeman, but he seems destined to be one of those guys who is good in real sports, not helpful in fantasy. Felix won't get wide on the Vikings, Knowshon probably won't play again and Kenny Britt just (occasionally) catches touchdowns.
THE PICK: HAWKS 92 - LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS 77
ATLAS SHRUGGZ (2-3) at WHIZ-BANG GANG (3-2)
The WBG is starting Alex Smith. Even Mike Singletary questions that call. They should seriously consider starting Aaron Rodgers, who is actually playing. Ah, I'm sure Larry will be up before 12:30pm tomorrow.
There are actually going to quite a few points posted in this one. Nicks will destroy the Lions, though the Brandon Lloyd comeback tour might miss a date this week.
THE PICK: WHIZ-BANG GANG 115 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 104
DEATHFROMABOVE (2-3) at FIREROCK ROCKERS (0-5)
It's dinner time. Fortunately, picking Rocker games isn't so hard this year.
THE PICK: DEATHFROMABOVE 71 - FIREROCK ROCKERS 66