With the combination of family being in town, horrible picks last week and having run out of funny observations in Week 6 (of 2008), this is going to be a quick hitter. As unfunny as Chris Berman's two-minute drill and thrice as annoying.
THE NEV-R-WINS (7-2) at DEATHFROMABOVE (3-6)
NOBODY CIRCLES THE WAGONS LIKE DEATHFROMABOVE! If Johnny "Fort" Knox, Dwayne Bowe "Knows" and Santana "A Rolling Stone Gathers No" Moss can produce at all, The Nev-R-Wins will fire flaming arrows right through those wagon tarps.
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 91 - DEATHFROMABOVE 70
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW (4-5) at WHIZ-BANG GANG (7-2)
These two teams inadvertantly entered some sort of "no defense" gentlemen's agreement. You've heard of the No-Name Defense, this is the No-Play Defense! Nick's Buoniconti's son, what an inspiration.
Roddy White "House" has already posted 25 points, but DeSean "Action" Jackson will be ready to match that Monday night.
THE PICK: WHIZ-BANG GANG 101 - THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 65
BROOKLINE'S FINEST (5-4) at FIREROCK ROCKERS (0-9)
Patrick Henry said "Give me liberty or give me death." Brookline GM Scott Henry said "Give me a baseball team or give Bob Nuttig death." Rashard "By" Mendenhall has a chance to be the best Steeler running back since Barry "Bananas" Foster. Boom. Buff. Pfgh.
(Side note: Is Firerock the first 0-9 team in history projected to post 105 points in a week?)
Old Rasputin himself, Wayne Fontes, says take the Rockers. All they wanna do is rock!
THE PICK: FIREROCK ROCKERS 91 - BROOKLINE'S FINEST 88
HAWKS (6-3) at ATLAS SHRUGGZ (3-6)
These two teams have a palindrome of records! With no defense started and Michael "Ike" Turner only posting 3 points, it'll be up to Hakeem "Stevie" Nicks to keep this team thinking about tomorrow. Rhiannon!
THE PICK: HAWKS 78 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 75
IRON CITY POUNDERS (6-3) at ST. A'S CRUSADERS (6-3)
The Pounders think they should've started Matt Ryan and his 25 points, but you can't blame a coach for benching a QB against Ray Lewis, Ed Reed and the Baltimore defense. And with Carson Palmer under center, it's hard to go wrong.
(NOTE: That is what Berman would actually say because he's an idiot and always behind the curve. Fact is, Baltimore's defense is entirely average now. And Carson Palmer couldn't post 25 points in 2 games.)
THE PICK: ST. A'S CRUSADERS 97 - IRON CITY POUNDERS 91
PURPLE SWIRLS (5-4) at LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS (2-7)
The Thursday game tripped up yet another owner, as the All Stars have no TE. But Joe "We're Taking Heavy" Flacco put up 21 points.
The Swirls are hoping for another hit Mike Goodson television production.
THE PICK: PURPLE SWIRLS 88 - LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS 60