Saturday, December 18, 2010

WVFL Conference Championship Picks

LAST WEEK: 1-1
SEASON: 53-27

PURPLE SWIRLS (8-6) at THE NEV-R-WINS (11-2)
Listen, I didn't get into this league and run roughshod over it just to have Matt Flynn, Joe Webb and possibly Brodie Croyle decide my fate. It's like being two minutes away from the chair and finding out a 7-year old has become Governor in some twist of a law from the 1840s. You just can't expect a lot of competency or help.

Fortunately, Jonathan (The Black One) Stewart has been coming on strong and faces a worthless Cardinals team. Matt Schaub isn't officially injured, but should be Questionable - Panic Attacks During Blitzes. But Tennessee isn't interested in playing any more, so Foster should be able to run free.

By the end of the afternoon games, Caulen will be all done, meaning Jennings, Peterson and/or Joe Webb will have a high water mark to hit. If I'm trailing Monday morning, don't feel bad for me. Feel bad for all of the people at work who will have to listen to a 10-minute explanation of how I got in this position after ruling the league with an iron fist.

Dallas is going to kick the shit out of the Redskins so they can call their season a success, and Sexy Rexy Grossman won't help out Torain too much. And the Giants front four actually bottled up a Vick a little bit earlier this year.

The karma factor in this one is through the roof, and I'm sure Caulen would love nothing than beating me 67-65. If that happens, I won't keep a single player next summer out of sheer spite*.

*NOTE - I will not actually do this.

THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 88 - PURPLE SWIRLS 75


HAWKS (7-7) at ST. A'S CRUSADERS (10-3)
Representing the WVFL West, the Hawks needed a Wild Card win just to reach .500 on the year. And they made a strong to push to go 8-7 as Philip Rivers chucked the ball up and down the field. Fortunately for the Crusaders, the Niners were so useless that Rivers was pulled early for the sake of good taste.

Roethlisberger probably won't put up half as many points as Rivers did, but Ray Rice should triple Ryan Mathews, so the Hawks' Thursday lead won't last too long. Of all people, Darren McFadden will most likely decide this game. Calvin Johnson will be held back by Drew Stanton, the Steelers won't want Holmes to beat them, Anquan Boldin has been quiet all year and Danny Woodhead is just a little thing.

THE PICK: ST. A'S CRUSADERS 103 - HAWKS 87

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