LAST WEEK: 4-2
THE NEV-R-WINS 118.86 – DEATHFROMABOVE 93.40
If Peterson and Foster both play, I win. It’s pretty simple, actually. Now, Foster is off this week, but that a Preview thing, not a Review thing. I knew I’d have a good week when I slipped Jacoby Jones into the lineup 30 minutes before kickoff and he then caught an 80-yard TD pass on the first play of the game. It’s fun being good.
Chris Johnson finally broke out and turned in a productive week and DFA wasn’t even able to use it in a win. Darren Sproles somehow only had 3 yards in a Saints win, James Jones barely played and Vincent Jackson totally quit on a potential TD pass.
WHIZ-BANG GANG 72.90 – THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW 66.86
How good is Aaron Rodgers? He’s singlehandedly keeping the WBG alive in the playoff race despite them having the 4th-fewest points in the league. But I’m sure that standing will only improve with Dwayne Bowe now trying to catch passes from the West A. Throwaway, Tyler Palko.
The Elbow has now lost 5 straight and their BEST performance in that stretch is 69 points. What’s the opposite of championship parade? Whatever it is, the Elbow should start planning a route and booking a VFW hall for it now.
ATLAS SHRUGGZ 87.36 – LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS 54.68
Only two All-Stars got into double digits this week – Cam and Gostkowski. The only potential glimmer of hope for the All Stars is that Percy Harvin might deserve dual eligibility for as many carries he gets from the backfield. The other is that the rest of his team is so bad that he can sign Cam as a keeper for 5 years since there’s nobody else worth retaining.
There were threats that both Nicks and Manningham would miss this game, but they played and combined for 24 points. Nice when things work out that way.
BROOKLINE MCKENRY FORT 114.28 – IRON CITY POUNDERS 110.04
When you’re trying to claw your way into a playoff spot and you score 110 points and lose, I’m sure you don’t even notice that the WBG scored 72 points and won. Nor do you notice that had you won this game, you’d currently have the #6 seed. Nor do you notice that if you played Marshawn Lynch over James Stars you would’ve won this game handily. You don’t notice any of these thing because you’re clenching your teeth in rage so hard that all you can see are stars.
Brookline has 215 points fewer than the Swirls, yet they are 2 games ahead of them and in the playoff hunt. Hell, Brookline has 15 points fewer than the WBG and are 1 game up on them. Brookline’s best game of the season was this week’s 114 points. The Swirls scored more than that in 2 of their LOSSES this season. I could not possibly be enjoying this more.
PURPLE SWIRLS 115.58 – HACKS 93.46
Hey, the Swirls! We were just talking about you guys! I can’t believe they won despite starting a surprisingly benched DeSean Jackson and leaving 36 points from the Bears defense on the bench. The way this season has gone, they should’ve lost by 1 point after doing that.
Julio Jones had another hamstring issue. I’m sure the fact that he’s one of the fastest guys in the league and has legs like tree trunks means this won’t be a recurring issue throughout his career. And seriously, what is the deal with Rivers and the Chargers this season? They are just completely confounding.
ST. A’S CRUSADERS 131.70 – FIREROCK ROCKERS 82.24
The Crusaders play the All Stars, Elbow and Hacks in their last 3 games, so let’s go ahead and call them 11-2 now and give them the #1 seed. I remember last year when I went 11-2 with the most points in the league, got hit with the injury bug and lost my first playoff game. I’m sure that won’t happen again. Nothing to worry about. Ray Rice and Calvin could never get hurt.
Rockers won 5, lost 3, won 1, lost 1. That season is probably somewhat tied to the changing fortunes of the Buffalo Bills. As Stevie and Freddie go, so goes Tony.