LAST WEEK: 5-1
THE NEV-R-WINS (2-0) vs. IRON CITY POUNDERS (2-0)
Jennings, Garcon, Maclin...all hurt. Usually I get off to a good start and then the injuries come in and ruin my season. This time, it's only taking 2 games. Why delay the inevitable, I guess. Peterson will do less than nothing against the Niners, Ben Tate definitely will not have another 2 touchdowns since I'm playing him this week, and I wouldn't be surprised if both Jennings and Doug Baldwin (new emergency pickup) missed Monday's game, leaving me with an empty roster slot.
But you know what? My team is going to rally and dig deep and show heart and some other cliche! Ryan will struggle, forget about DHB, and Donald Brown and Peyton Hillis! Gut check time!
THE PICK: THE NEV-R-WINS 88 - IRON CITY POUNDERS 80
THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW (1-1) vs. ST. A'S CRUSADERS (1-1)
The one step forward, six steps backwards management continues for the Elbow. Although he is yelling online at Hakeem Nicks for not playing, it was announced by at least Tuesday that Nicks was out and wouldn't even make the trip to Charlotte.
Let's not too spend too much more time on this one. It'd be like breaking down the matchup between a tiger and a ribeye.
THE PICK: ST. A'S CRUSADERS 105 - THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW 70
ZOLTAN'S ZEROS (1-1) vs. DEATHFROMABOVE (0-2)
Brandon LaFell only scored 2.7 points on Thursday. Kinda rough to burn a roster spot on that measly production. The only silver lining for LaFell is that with Chris Johnson on his team, he might not be the worst DFAer of the week.
On the other hand...Austin, Holmes, Colston. Can anybody predict these guys? Even the great me? Probably not.
It says here that Tony Romo carries DFA to a mild upset. That is the official prediction of this very poorly-written capsule.
THE PICK: DEATHFROMABOVE 91 - ZOLTAN'S ZEROS 88
HACKS (1-1) vs. LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS (2-0)
The LAS are already playing the "Nobody believes in us card" that's so popular these days, while at the same time lobbying the press (me) for more favorable coverage. It's a bit like the Romney campaign, except with the weekly comedy injection. But the good times might be coming to an end soon, also like the Romney campaign.
Cam was a letdown again this week, Percy Harvin will not be able to shake the Niners, and forget about Jonathan Dwyer. For the Hacks, Mathews probably won't play, but Ben, Trent, and Darren (sounds like a real bro squad) should carry the day.
At least the All Stars are pretty comfortable with the feel of losing. It's so familiar.
THE PICK: HACKS 87 - LOWCOUNTRY ALL STARS 84
ATLAS SHRUGGZ (0-2) vs. PURPLE SWIRLS (0-2)
While we are all enjoying the tremendous comedy of Caulen struggling to win a game in the WVFL, be aware that it will end this week. It will not be close, it will be frightening, and hopefully it will only be a temporary reprieve.
As for Atlas, what can be said except wow. And ouch.
THE PICK: PURPLE SWIRLS 120 - ATLAS SHRUGGZ 70
FIREROCK ROCKERS (1-1) vs. WHIZ BANG GANG (1-1)
So is Victor Cruz good or not? Is he only good if he plays the slot? I don't know. Who cares? It's Saturday afternoon.
THE PICK: FIREROCK ROCKERS 110 - WHIZ BANG GANG 97