Tuesday, October 9, 2012

AFFL Week 5 Review

Folks, the preview picks went 6-0 this week and earned TWO different compliments from Scotty A. It's times like this that really make going to college worthwhile.


ANIMAL HOUSE 75.3 - ISIS 44.7
Looks like Ryan Mathews doesn't enjoy being called shitty week in and week out. Yes, he totally reads these previews and had a real chip on his shoulder Sunday night.

Glad Andy Dalton had his worst game of the year when I actually needed to start him. I'll really enjoy his 22 points on the bench next week. And I would never call an NFL player a pussy, but...Jeremy Maclin takes one hard hit and then just stops playing the rest of the game. Every week.

I hope all of my players are renting, not buying. This team is going to see a highly-publicized "rebranding" campaign next season.


THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 81.3 - SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS 53.5
At least I'm better than SOMEbody. ANYbody.

When does Cam officially become a concern to this team? I guess as long as they're winning, everybody is happy. And with McCoy, Foster, and then either Marshall or Torrey Smith having good games every single week, they will probably keep winning for a while.


ABBADABBA'S 88.6 - MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 84.8
MRN can sit there, knowing that if they started Wright over Garcon, they would've won this game. But really, who among us would be bold enough to make that call. They can sit there upset that they had a chance to pull out the win after Bob Griff got "mildly" concussed, but couldn't do it. They can kvetch that Abba inexplicably did not start his franchise player in his first game back, leaving points on the bench.

But he is probably purple with apoplectic rage that the Bears defense had Tillman and Briggs each scored defensive touchdowns this week, just like they did last week, and THAT IS THE FIRST TIME IN NFL HISTORY THAT HAS HAPPENED.

MRN literally lost because of something that has never happened before.


MOTHER OF DRAGONS 96 - THE KNIGHT WHO SAYS NI 53
If you're going to even have Josh Gordon on your roster, it's a borderline tragedy that you've benched him for a long touchdown and a 20-point game. I'm not even sure Gordon had a 20-point season before that.

The backfield of Johnson, Jackson, and Jackson did nothing, combining for 12.9 points. I predicted that Johnson would suck since he was starting again, and as willing as I am to praise myself, even I won't take credit for the obvious.

I was really hoping that Gary had benched Harvin after last week's 3 point bust, but a plethora of bye players forced Harvin into the lineup. He and Bradshaw alone almost outscored The Knight.


TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 99.7 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 69.2
Scott is making gurglings that I did him some favor handing over AP, but I don't know if 10 points is worth 2 draft picks. I mean, TDHAF doesn't get bonus points for each week's announcement from AP or Leslie Frazier that the knee "is better than ever." Alfred Morris would be worth 3 draft picks at that exchange rate.

Blaine Gabbert had -0.2 points this week. I guess it's fortunate that he was on the Ripper bench, but...why is he even on the Ripper bench?


CHEST ROCKWELL 104.6 - OUT FOR REVENGE 97.8
Stevan Ridley had another 20 points. This after yet another Patriots running back (Shane Vereen) became a recommended pick up. Three Pat backs are getting regular touches, and Ridley is still putting up 20 points. How? Well, according to an article in the Boston Globe this week, the Pats talked to Oregon's Chip Kelly and are now implementing a SINGLE WORD PLAYCALL in their no huddle scheme. And like the wild Oregon offense, they are trying to run as many plays as possible.

Stevan Ridley is worth 5 draft picks on the open market.

I guess you could argue that the 2 tight end set worked, as the tight ends averaged 9.3 points. Although with Jimmy Graham only scoring 0.4, it's like the night Michael Jordan and Stacey King combined for 70 points on the back of King's single made free throw.

Wait...Marques Colston had 31 points?!? Was I even watching that game? When did that happen?

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