Tuesday, October 23, 2012

AFFL Week 7 Review

SCREEN!

Sorry, thought I just saw Todd Haley walking by.

THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 79.2 - ISIS 58.1
Weekly fill-in pick up Darrius Heyward-Bey and the Vikings were my best performers this week. I guess the rash of failure didn't spread to them quickly enough.

Bri won without a defense. Bully for him.


SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS 73.3 - OUT FOR REVENGE 65.5
I predicted both of Timmy's wins this season, no big deal. I also predicted 64 points for OFR this week, no big deal. Guys! Seriously! It's no big deal! Your compliments are nice, though.

By the way, Timmy is now 2-0 since announcing his fire sale. Let nobody among us say he is not a leader of men.

By by the way, both William Powell and Trent Richardson got hurt early on, and they combined for just 3.7 points while Andre Brown's 9.2 rode the pine. Pretty much the main and only reason OFR lost. I believe that is what's referred to as...tough luck.


THE KNIGHT WHO SAYS NI 91.1 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 74.2
Whoa! Hey! Where did this come from? The last defeated team is finally on the board!

The Buffalo/Tennessee game turned into a shootout early, with Chris Johnson racking up 130 yards and 2 touchdowns in the first quarter. He finished with 31 big points on the day, which is nearly half of his entire season total. Buying in bulk!

Maurice Jones-Drew maybe broke his foot, maybe has a Lisfranc thing, maybe something else. But his career as a Ripper has definitely come to an end. You guys take a moment to remember the good times he had with Larry. I can't, because I'm still kinda new and never saw any.


TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 114.4 - CHEST ROCKWELL 60.4
I said this game would be sneakily low-scoring, and I was right. For one of the teams. I don't know how the Vikings won 21-14 when Ponder threw for 56 yards and only had 2 fantasy points, but it happened. Meanwhile, Drew Brees had a great day with 313 yards and 4 TDs...in the FIRST HALF. Adrian Peterson's huge touchdown vaulted him into the AFFL's top 5 fantasy backs, making the 2014 pick owed on him worth a first rounder at that moment. Go, AP!

Christ, even Vick Ballard had 10 points, and I'm not sure he even played.

After the review was posted Friday, Barker hopped in to the Comments to note...

Tried to trade Calvin for Alfred morris, shady, mcfadden, bradshaw, the Seattle RB, can't even think of his name, no other teams in league had any good rbs that weren't franchised, had to settle for McGahee. 

Now, I know Stafford looked extremely bad Monday night, but with 10 games left in the season, Calvin has at least 7 TDs left in him. Gary BENCHED Bradshaw this week and wouldn't give him up for Calvin? Bri wouldn't give up Marshawn Lynch for Calvin? (God, I hope Barker isn't referring to Robert Turbin.)

I know youth and contracts and this and that, but doesn't anybody in this league try to win NOW? Is the main point of this league to acquire cap space and next year's draft picks?


MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 93.1 - ANIMAL HOUSE 49.6
Here's a team that just won now. Now, I'm not disingenuous enough to argue that MRN won BECAUSE they traded for Calvin Johnson, but they're 1-0 since the deal and Barker and Gary are 0-1. These are just facts, people. Now sure, Calvin only having 3 points this week is also a fact, but why must you be so argumentative?

Brandon Lloyd dropped at least 15 points worth of balls Sunday, but if Randall Cobb didn't score 2 TDs and post 22 points, yes, this game actually could've been uglier.


ABBADABBA'S 82.1 - MOTHER OF DRAGONS 71.2
I don't know what the process is that leads somebody to start Kyle Rudolph over Ahmad Bradshaw, but I hope a gun and threats are involved. If Gary starts the #1 running back on a very good offense playing at home against a terrible defense instead of a TIGHT END, he wins this game by a hair.

But let's not dwell on it. I'm sure Gary has thought about it and feels bad that he lost because, even though both tight ends in this matchup scored 0, and Rice and McFadden were real disappointments, and Spiller was held in check in a shootout, and Luck played nicely as a bye week fill-in, he lost BECAUSE HE STARTED A TIGHT END OVER A #1 RUNNING BACK ON A GOOD TEAM!

I feel like Frank Grimes right now.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Frank Grimes reference? How many people got that? You need to dumb it down and keep it simple for this audience. Or maybe I'm the only one who reads it and I got it so well done.

Anonymous said...

Now I need you to predict I willwin every week and by some sort of mircle, I will make playoffs.