I loudly entered the 2012 season with a lot of hot shit hot shot predictions about which teams were good and which had contracted a congenital case of terribleness. But how did those predictions actually pan out? Why don't we take a look?
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Maybe one year. Not this year."
HIT OR MISS: I guess this is probably the biggest miss.
TEAM: Animal House
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Yes, but not a lot of playoffs. Just a dash of playoffs."
HIT OR MISS: Hit
TEAM: Chest Rockwell
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "The Barkers will able to watch the Week 14 games together without a care in the world."
HIT OR MISS: Partial credit. This is why you don't pair your picks. But Barker did email me right after this preview came out to explain that he makes the playoffs every year and I had to learn that about the AFFL. So I'm awarding myself bonus points for standing strong.
TEAM: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Potentially the only fantasy team in America on which Aaron Rodgers won't make the playoffs."
HIT OR MISS: I mean...are you starting to get frightened?
TEAM: Mother Of Dragons
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "For sure. Which somehow won't rule out Gary landing the 2013 #1 pick."
HIT OR MISS: Do you think I can levitate spoons and tractors with my massive brain?
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Yes, all of the playoffs."
HIT OR MISS: Don't worry, I can't. My team had tons of potential, as evidenced by the fact that I led the AFFL with the most high-score weeks. But just too much inconsistency did me in. Miss.
TEAM: Out For Revenge
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "No. Possibly not ever."
HIT OR MISS: Hit for 2012, though technically I suppose this prediction is ongoing.
TEAM: Sigmund And The Sea Monsters
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Come on, don't be rude."
HIT OR MISS: Hit. But really, who wouldn't have hit this one?
TEAM: That Kangaroo Stole My Ball
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Oh, for sure."
HIT OR MISS: Hit. BONUS HIT! "...at some point Stafford is going to be traded for a #1 wide receiver..."
TEAM: The Knight Who Says Ni
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Barely."
HIT OR MISS: Miss. Though in fairness, remember that this prediction was made with a healthy Ben, Greg Jennings and Wes Welker in mind.
TEAM: The Whitechapel Rippers
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Looking like it."
HIT OR MISS: Hit.
TEAM: Timmy Doesn't Have Any Friends
PLAYOFF PREDICTION: "Prognosis negative."
HIT OR MISS: Miss. Like everybody else, I totally missed on Alfred Morris, and then Scott made a bunch of trades, like Greg Jennings and Wes Welker for Justin Blackmon and a bag of dicks.
Final tally, 8-4 overall while correctly picking 4 of the 6 playoff teams. Next year, I'll write the Season Preview column and we can just the skip the season. A sort of Strat-O-Matic fantasy league, if you will.