Friday, November 23, 2012

AFFL Week 12 Preview

LAST WEEK: 3-3
SEASON: 41-25

The picks have hit a tepid streak, which is certain to get worse this week with the double matchups. Now it's two chances to be wrong!

Also, it's a holiday Friday, and I'm still full of pie, so these are going to be quick hitters. If you don't like it, double your money back next week. If you love it, suggest to Gary that he does double or league-wide matchups in 2013. I'd probably quit this preview entirely if that happened.


ISIS (4-7) vs. MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD (6-5) and MOTHER OF DRAGONS (6-5)

OUT FOR REVENGE (4-7) vs. MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD (6-5) and MOTHER OF DRAGONS (6-5)
Since I offered him up for trade two weeks ago, Dez Bryant has posted 20 and 26 points. I guess none of the playoff contenders could use that kind of output. Good thing you all stayed away from even offering a shitty pick for him.

Oh, and nice of Matt Stafford to finally have a good game the week I bench him. Thanks, dick.


After MRN picked up Calvin Johnson in a trade, I said that he had at least 7 touchdowns left in him, and that the rest of the league blew if they're actually trying to win this season. Since then, he has 3 TDs with 4 games remaining. He's averaging 21.67 points the last 3 weeks. I'm sure you guys will start listening to me eventually.

I can't think of a single thing to say about Gary's team. It's the most boring kinda good team in the world.

The helmet logo for Out For Revenge has a WSM on it. I think this is how I can remember this is Bill McCamey's team. The S stands for Semi-Stunning upSetS.

THE PICKS:
ISIS 83 - MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 66
ISIS 83 - MOTHER OF DRAGONS 70
OUT FOR REVENGE 71 - MR. RODGERS NEIGHBORHOOD 66
OUT FOR REVENGE 71 - MOTHER OF DRAGONS 70


THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL (9-2) vs. TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS (7-4) and ANIMAL HOUSE (6-5)

THE KNIGHT WHO SAYS NI (2-9) vs. ANIMAL HOUSE (6-5) and TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS (7-4)
Houston's defense posted a -1 for Scott. It would have been more advantageous, though more mentally taxing during the week, to have no defense on his team. Also, his 36.4 from yesterday seems decent until you realize it took half of his team to do it. Can Brees, Peterson, and Forte carry the rest of the load? Answer: possibly.

You can't really blame a guy for starting Peyton against that Chiefs team, but Bri still isn't starting Cam, even against a Philadelphia defense that is completely melting down. The entire team is melting down, actually. But still no Cam. Bri will still not trade him in the offseason, so don't ask. Cam is totally good!

That was some nice Thanksgiving Day football for Animal House, as they got 48 points out of just two players. The entire Animal House team might not score 48 points.

THE PICKS:
ANIMAL HOUSE 110 - THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 100
ANIMAL HOUSE 110 - THE KNIGHT WHO SAYS NI 47
THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 100 - TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 70
TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 70 - THE KNIGHT WHO SAYS NI 47


ABBADABBA'S (8-3) vs. SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS (3-8) and CHEST ROCKWELL (5-6)


THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS (6-5) vs. SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS (3-8) and CHEST ROCKWELL (5-6)
Both Sigmund and Abba's had one player active in the Dallas/Washington game yesterday. Tim's player got hurt early and Brian's player threw for another 4 TDs, and this matchup is already 27.2-0. I don't know what other result could've possibly summarized this season any better.

On a botched play, Mark Sanchez tried to scramble, ducked his head for some reason, ran into his own lineman and that lineman's meaty rump knocked the ball loose. The Patriots picked up the fumble and ran untouched into the endzone. Chest got 6 points for that. Then the Jets fumbled the ensuing kickoff and Julian Edelman ran that in untouched. Chest got 6 points for that. It really pays to have a defense in your starting lineup sometimes. Oh, also, at one point Stevan Ridley ran into the endzone untouched. Chest got 6 points for that.

Larry's fraudulent playoff run will continue because although Chest will most certainly destroy him this week...he is also facing Tim.

THE PICKS:
CHEST ROCKWELL 92 - ABBADABBA'S 90
CHEST ROCKWELL 92 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 71
ABBADABBA'S 90 - SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS 50
THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 71 - SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTERS 50

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