THIS WEEK: 4-2
Welp...it's pretty obvious that there is only one factor in this league that really matters, so that is the only thing we will discuss this week.
LITTLE BABY JESUS 117.1 - ISIS 96.2
In a must-win game, I scored the 4th-most points this week. I outscored 75% of the league. I lost. I have the 4th-most points overall this season, and the 8th-best record. If we did the 11 v. 1 breakdown, I'd currently be in a 3-way tie for 3rd place, which shows a decent level of consistency compared to the league as a whole. I thought the entire point of fantasy football was getting good players that will score points for you, but apparently the entire point is actually having a good schedule.
So next year, let's get our players by whatever method, and then draft our weekly opponents. That is clearly the most monstrous factor in how your season goes, so let's put some effort into it. For example, if you have the #1 overall schedule pick, you can choose to play Brian Barker and Scott in the crucial Week 13 double matchup.
Congratulations to my opponent for putting up his highest total of the season.
LOTHBROK 77 - IT'S ALWAYS RUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA 50.3
Cool win, bro. Way to grind out that W.
Gary's bench also would've beaten Runny this week, 57-50.3. Runny has the fewest points in the league, but if you can cleverly manage to also have the fewest points against, you can still manage to be 5-3. It's a completely good and reasonable system that proves many things.
ANIMAL HOUSE 135 - ASSTANNER 94.6
Unfortunate loss for Chris here after he scored his highest weekly total of the season. He should've done a better job managing the schedule.
Great week by the Animal House. 30 points from Brady, 30 from Maclin, 23 from Charles...real pinball stuff. But his most impressive move this week was not playing against HGAC, because then he would've lost even though he scored 135. Nice move!
HGAC 149.4 - RIGGINS' RIGGS 84.9
The team with the 2nd-most points scored this season now falls to 2-6, the worst record in the league. They should do a better job of not having 837 points against this season. Taller Barker has 132 more points this season than Not Quite As Tall Barker, but 267 more points against, so of course BB is 5-3 and MB is 2-6.
McCamey has the most legit #1 overall team the AFFL has seen in at least 1 or 2 years. Because this is fantasy football, there is no way he wins the title this year. Let's take a look into the future and see what will happen in the playoffs.
WILD CARD WEEK - Scores 117 during his bye week, the most points in the league.
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK - Loses 92-90. The other game finishes 82-78.
TITLE WEEK - Scores 115 meaningless points. Title game finishes 91-89.
Sorry, Bill! Maybe next year.
SIGMUND & THE SEA MONSTERS 89 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 71.9
Larry started off the season 3-0 by averaging 83 points a game. Respectable. He has now dropped 5 straight by averaging around 64 points a game. His record is exactly what it deserves to be, which makes for an interesting outlier.
Tim has the 6th-most points for, and the 6th-most points against, and he is 4-4.
Nice work by both of these teams playing the game the way it's supposed to be played.
TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 63.9 - THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 58.6
Scott bet me $5 that Geno Smith would outscore Kaepernick this year. Scott franchised Geno Smith 2 days before Geno had 5 passing attempts for 5 yards. Of those 5 throws, 2 were completed to Jets, 3 were completed to the Bills. Geno Smith has been benched in favor of Michael Vick, who also sucks.
Scott is really good at fantasy football because he figured out how to play the lowest-scoring team in the league the very week he was the 2nd-lowest scoring team. He has also figured out how to be 5-3 with the 2nd-fewest points for this season. He is obviously very smart and good because he has a nice W-L record. It all checks out.
And yes, he would've won this week even without the Drew Brees trade. By 0.5 points.
Bri lost this week because he refused to drop the San Francisco DST even though they were on a bye. There were 7 different free agent defenses this week with 6+ points that could've given Bri the win. Great job by Scott managing the schedule in that regard.
Before we go, here is a fun chart. It will show CURRENT STANDING - TEAM NAME - STANDING IF WE PLAYED 11 V. 1. We will all enjoy it very much.
1 - HGAC - 1
2 - ANIMAL HOUSE - 3
3 - LOTHBROK - 2
4 - TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS - 11
5 - LITTLE BABY JESUS - 7
6 - IT'S ALWAYS RUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA - 12
7 - SIGMUND & THE SEA MONSTERS - 6
8 - ISIS - 5
9 - ASSTANNER - 8
10 - THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL - 9
11 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS - 10
12 - RIGGINS' RIGGS - 4
Now let's do something else. I will take your arguments and critiques in advance and discuss them.
You are just a big baby. There are teams every year that go through this same thing, scoring a bunch of points and not making the playoffs.
Correct. That is actually an argument in my favor, so thank you for making it for me. If the same stupid thing happens year after year, maybe we should start doing things differently.
If we played 11 v. 1, there would be teams that totally out of the playoffs too early in the season and they would just give up.
Okay, sure. Let's look at the Central. Technically, Bri and Barker are 0.5 and 2.5 games out of the division lead, respectively. There are enough games left that they can get hot and make up ground, assuming Chris and Gary lose a bunch of games.
See? I told you. Baby.
Yeah. By the way, Bri could average 85 points a game the rest of the season and possibly not make up any ground on Gary, even if Gary averaged like 71 points a game. It's basically totally out of Bri's control, depending on how the schedule shakes out.
Conversely, Runny's 11 v. 1 record is currently 31-57, a deserved last place. Sigmund, holding onto the final playoff spot at the moment, is 45-43. If Runny had 3 really good weeks in a row, he could conceivably go 27-6 and make up a ton of ground.
But how the other teams perform is still a factor.
Sure. But if Runny takes care of their own business and has three good weeks in a row, they don't have to worry about what their direct opponents score, or if a team they are chasing gets a lucky win. Active control of your destiny, not passive.
Doesn't this eliminate the divisions from the league?
Aren't the divisions cool?
Are they? Let's just randomly switch me and Bri for a second. Facing his schedule in his division, I'm 4-4 and leading a crap division. Hooray for me!
Let's do one better. Let's just flip Barkers. If we did, Riggins' Riggs would be 6-2 and leading the Western thanks to their 2-1 division record and their Week 1 win over HGAC.
But the divisions aren't random. They're based on last year's standings.
Oh cool. So the randomness can be compounded! Nice!
Are you done yet?