Friday, December 15, 2017

AFFL Semi-Final Preview

LAST WEEK: 0-2
SEASON: 49-20

This final four has everything from A to B. Three Alberts and one Barker. I thought about ranking the potential champs from least objectionable to most, but every time I came up with a list I realized that, honestly, you could just as easily reverse the list. Simply awful all around. Maybe this is why the steam is leaking from the league. There's never a champion to be happy for, just ones you tolerate.






Also, just to clarify my point about last week since I always have to clarify points for you chucklehead. The issue isn't whether or Gary is good this year, it's that it's so unbelievably lucky that he tanked last week when he had the bye, a bye he just barely earned.

So my point is, as always, that focusing on each year's champ is appealing to simple minds, but a better measure of who's actually good year after year. And yeah, the multiple times I've done that tally I'm in the top third of the league, but not the top. I can't catch Scott, Chris, and Brian Williams.

I'm sure the money is nice, but who wins in a given year is overrated.

With that said, let's find out who might win this year.


TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS - RUSSELLMANIA
The Pats shut down Ben last year and are certain to bracket AB this weekend. Fournette is likely to sit out this game with a quad problem. Dez Bryant has the speed of a tight end.

On the other side, I saw a stat that since 2014, Julio Jones AVERAGES 27 points against the Bucs. Josh Gordon gets the same Raven secondary that handed 217 yards to AB last week, Keenan Allen gets a Chief secondary that's falling apart, and Alshon gets a Giants team that's quit.

By the first quarter on Monday night, Julio will have sealed this win.

THE PICK: RM 94 - TDHAF 76


ASSTANNER - THE NATIONAL RAZOR
Here's something for Gary to think about



I don't think he'll bomb this week against the Steelers, but next week? When he faces the Bills again? The team that held him to 6.6 fantasy points in Week 13 before he scored 7.7 against the Dolphins?

Now look, I am very much hoping that Carlos Hyde only puts 4 points this week and Gary loses by like 8, meaning the difference between Hyde and guy-worth-a-1st-rounder-in-a-trade-before-he-got-cut CJ Anderson decides this game, but that doesn't seem very likely.

Oh hey, I just realized that 3 of my Week 1 players are in this game. It remains to be seen if Green, Thielen, and Hyde still carry my playoff hex in their DNA.

Anyway, there's no need to keep talking about this one. Brady, Kamara, and Freeman are just going to be too much. Like Julio, Freeman is going to clinch this one early Monday and then just pad the lead.

THE PICK: TNR 90 - AT 80

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