AFFL Week 8 Preview

LAST WEEK: 3-3
SEASON: 29-13

As if losing the last two games wasn't bad enough, the picks are only 6-6 in that time. Plus I got a cold this week so I'm all foggy and this preview is going to be really boring.

(They're all really boring! BRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP!)

Hush.

The very spicy Week 7 Review didn't generate any hot replies or long comment threads, so I can only assume that's because you all agree with the premise and feel terrible about what is happening to me. I accept your apologies.

By the way, at the moment, 3 teams are projected to score over 100 points this week. Those teams are currently favored to win by 5, 14, and 38 points. Guess which one I am.

Anyway, I'm sure everybody is hoping this isn't another week where I post a great score but somebody comes in to steal my sunshine.





THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MERCY (3-4) vs. TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS (3-4)
The other problem with losing these games, besides the obvious, is that it seems like there is going to be a big mush of teams fighting for the Wild Card spots and I keep giving away head-to-head tiebreakers.

This week definitely has the potential for me to post a third straight 100-point loss, give away another tiebreaker, and fall 3-5, which would be good for 10th or 11th place. It might come down to a single roster spot, which is why I'm so tied up in knots about Fuller v. Brown v. Mostert. I mean, it's not that I'm dying to start Raheem Mostert, but he's a great matchup against the Cards if Breida is out, but Fuller plays tonight and all of the experts really like him because Coutee is out. Not to mention picking between Brees and Rodgers.

While I like all of my matchups this week, and Chris Carson owes me one, I'm concerned about all of Scott's guys going off. I would say I'm extremely worried about watching James White and Gostkowski chip away at my 23-point lead on Monday night and losing by 2 points because the Pats kick a field goal to go up 38-3 with 3 minutes left.

Or, worse, the NE DST that Scott just picked makes a late house call on a terrible Derek Anderson pass to seal the win for him.

I dunno. I guess I'm going to have to count on the odds eventually turning in my favor.

THE PICK: TDHGNM 103 - TDHAF 94


THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL (6-1) vs. HEISENBERG (3-4)
Gary has scored 47.5, 58.3, and 66.1 points in the last 3 weeks. CBS projects him for 72.9 this week, which, hey, that's technical making progress. Kamara is in the lineup, of course, but the rest of this sheet is pretty rough thanks to byes and injuries. Baker Mayfield on the road? Peyton Barber anywhere? Sammy Watkins? Oof. I think we have confirmation that Gary's 100+ point games in Weeks 3 and 4 were the outliers. This team is not good.

Bri is rolling with DeShaun and Lamar Miller tonight, and if Bri thinks the Texans are going to roll, I guess I feel a little bit better about playing Will Fuller.

It will be technically possible that Kamara could score 70 points on Sunday night to lead Gary's heroic comeback, but it seems a little unlikely.

THE PICK: TKSMB 108 - HB 55


THE NIGHT BOYS (4-3) vs. LITTLE BABY JESUS (3-4)
All Semi had to do was cut off the dead weight of Tyreek Hill and Julio Jones and now is team is flying! Like, should Gary and I reverse our trades him and send those guys back? Does Semi want those guys back to try and make a run now? I'd at least be open to hearing him out on a reversal, plus a little interest for my troubles.

As for Barker, I'm actually not that perturbed by him having a good record with an iffy team after a few years of getting crushed by the most points against. It all comes out in the wash eventually.

(Yes, I am aware that logic would apply to my own whinging, but I'm concerned with my record now, not in 2022.)

Anyway, CBS says he's going to break 100 this week, which is interesting because he's only done it once all season and is averaging like 73 points in the last 3 weeks. But there are a lot of pretty golden matchups in this one. Dalton and Boyd against Tampa, Thielen against the Saints, Cooks against the Packers. Hopkins draws a tough corner again this week, but he's overcome that in the past so why ot tonight as well?

I feel like Marlon Mack probably won't score 30 points for the second week in a row, and I don't like Jameis outside, on the road, in the cold.

THE PICK: TNB 91 - LBJ 70


RUSSELLMANIA (1-6) vs. WTTK? (4-3)
The entire Mania lineup, outside of Alex Smith and Gronk, is second options. Sometimes second options score 17 points, sometimes they score 1.7 points.

Mixon, Kerryon, Luck, Kittle, Davante...all good. The Miami defense will probably post negative points and that won't matter one bit.

Why spend any more time on this matchup than we absolutely need to? The only intriguing angle is if Barker can finally break his worst loss record after taking two good cracks at it earlier this season.

THE PICK: WTTK? 104 - RUSSELLMANIA 49


ANIMAL HOUSE (4-3) vs. ASSTANNER (2-5)
I need to write this today because I'm heading out of town tomorrow, so I'm going to go ahead and assume that Meyers is going to put James Conner into the lineup over Demaryius.

Animal House could potentially struggle a bit this week. It's not impossible to picture Brady struggling on Monday night. It's a prime time home game for Buffalo, which has a pretty aggressive defense and fans that will probably start tailgating Sunday morning even if the game isn't until Monday. We've seen big underdogs play inspired home prime time games many times. I'm definitely not saying Buffalo will pull off an upset; I'm just saying we could see some weirdness.

Ingram should be bottled up against the Vikes' front 7, and the Rams won't post a big score against the Packers, but AJ, Conner, and Mike Thomas will easily be able to balance out the trouble spots.

As for Chris, I get that Jalen Richard is the de facto 1.5 back in Oakland now with Lynch hurt and Doug Martin old, but do you really need a former backup on a team that's giving up on their coach halfway through the season? Mainly because he gave up on them back in August.

My god. Do you see all these teams that aren't me that are going to coast to easy wins this week?

THE PICK: AH 87 - AT 42


THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS (5-2) vs. SIGMUND AND THE SEAMONSTER (4-3)
If David Johnson doesn't get moving this week with a new OC and a bad SF defense, he never will. That new OC, by the way, is Byron Leftwich, so we are now of the age where the Giants uniforms we remember Mark Bavaro and Phil McConkey in are considered throwbacks, and guys we watched play in college are now coaches. Incidentally, Leftwich says he learned everything from Bruce Arians, so I'd have high hopes for Johnson.

Blug. I'm so tired and foggy and stuffy. Here's what I think about this game. Mahomes will go off, Johnson should, and Landry might. On the other side, Goff, Hunt, and Woods will all go off, Diggs and Jones should, and Howard might. I need a nap.

THE PICK: SS 109 - TWR 89