AFFL Week 5 Review

A few housekeeping notes before the review. After 4 1/2 years of working remotely and 5 months of not working at all, I start a traditional office job this week. It remains to be seen how this affect the Krog Blog, though I'm guessing brevity is likely. Just wanted to put that out there so you don't think my bad season is leading to a lack of interest. I am fine with my bad season.

Anyway, let's get on with my team's funeral.





THAT KANGAROO STOLE MY BALL 89.9 - THE DUDE HAS GOT NO MERCY 50.8 👎
Here was my weekend. Played an over 40 soccer game on Saturday, lost 5-1. Went to the Steelers game and watched that whole debacle, including Ben posting 0.5 points. (Sure, it was a little fun watching my DST put up back-to-back pick 6s, but not at the expense of a 30-9 loss.) Sunday night, when I went into my beer league hockey game, Deshaun Watson had 3 points. We lost the game 4-0 and I came outside to discover Deshaun now had 33 points. Oh, and I also lost in my other league thanks to Melvin Gordon.

It was not a triumphant weekend.

Then again, at least I didn't lose my job because a stripper angrily leaked a video I sent her of me blowing rails before a big meeting like a certain Dolphins offensive line coach who will remain nameless.

I could've won this game had I started Rivers or Allen. Or not traded AJ. I could be 4-1 right now, but basically every decision I've made so far has turned out to be the wrong one, going all the way back to the draft. For instance, I would've won this week had I started Rivers and Allen instead of Ben and Williams. I had the #1 waiver priority and grabbed Murray. The Vikings ran with McKinnon. I could've grabbed McKinnon or Aaron Jones. But nope!

Not to mention Ware and Robinson both going down before halftime of Week 1. Maybe they're both only slightly above average, but that's still a starting RB and #1 WR gone just like that.

That's fine. I could use a mental break this season as I just prep for 2018.

How do the Texans score 34 and Fairbairn only has 2?! At least my franchise-worthy DST had a big day. Not that it mattered.

I'm not bold enough to suggest my comments on Cam led to his benching, but I went from being amused that he had 23 points on the bench to wishing Bri's QB only had 23 points. Gurley was held down, Ajayi was held down, Baldwin was held, but Crabtree scored a touchdown, just like he does every single week instead of Cooper.


THE NATIONAL RAZOR 81.3 - WTTK? 62.4 👍
I'm sure Gary is feeling very satisfied and pleased with himself that he won this week after refusing to trade for Cooper or Watkins and just picking up Will Fuller. Even though the game was decided before Fuller even started. I am also sure that Gary's 3-2 team is very, very good, and extremely likely to make a deep playoff run this season because it is so good.

Fuller did catch another 2 TDs despite my claims that he wouldn't. TY Hilton, clearly inspired by the intelligence, courage, and patriotism of Mike Pence, had a nice game as well.

Stunningly, Bilal Powell followed up his 20+ game with only 3.3 points this week. Ameer Abdullah and Joe Mixon to continue to defy their hype with bad numbers, but the MIA defense did put up 20 thanks to the hideousness and Matt Cassell. The Titans came out and said they refused to give Kaepernick a tryout this week because they don't want the distraction. Shit, man, all of life is a distraction right now. Every six seconds it's some new issue we all have to worry about. I personally think it would be a bigger distraction to have a good team go 0-4 in the middle of the season because Matt Cassell is awful, but what do I know? Couldn't the Titans run essentially the same offense with Kaep in for Mariota and possibly go 2-2, staying alive in a wide-open division? And you don't think bringing in Brandon Damn Weeden, who might literally be the worst possible option available, sends a loud and clear signal that isn't a distraction in and of itself?

Davante Adams returned from a near-death experience and caught 2 TDs, including an incredible game winner. McCamey benched him against the terrible Dallas defense, but he wouldn't have won even with Davante's points. All that benching did was save us all from more Gary self satisfaction over Will Fuller.

ASSTANNER 98.3 - RUSSELLMANIA 69.4 👍
While I bemoan my luck this season, we can't ignore Brian Barker. Never got Odell and Julio going in a single game. Diggs might be hurt now. Traded for Younghoe Koo right before he got cut, then replaced him with Nick Folk 2 hours before he blew the game for Tampa and got himself cut. He paid like $0.30 for 2 points. He left Alex Smith's 24.7 points on the bench, mostly because he got caught in a salary cap crunch trying to pick up the Rams defense and needed to scramble and add a legal player.

Chris left Jerick McKinnon's 20.6 points on the bench. Not that it mattered, since he had AJ's 23.9 and Wentz' 25.2 in the starting lineup.

The only interesting things about this matchup is that both teams had an RB with the initials LM score 8.9 points, and they both had a WR get hurt and go out of the game with under 10 yards. What a thrill.


LITTLE BABY JESUS 84.6 - THE WHITECHAPEL RIPPERS 25.8 👍
The only positives for Larry in this one are that he was right about not needing a K and a DST, and that he didn't break the record for fewest points in a game. In 2001, the Fantasy Takers posted a 19, and in 2009, Scott posted a 22.

Aaron Rodgers nearly beat the Rippers by himself, thanks to his demi-god performance against the Cowboys. That whole thing was ridiculous. It's one thing when fans think a QB might be able to drive for a game-tying field goal with 1:18 left. It's quite another when you think that's probably enough time for him to get a TD and win.


TIMMY DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 124.1 - ANIMAL HOUSE 46.9 👎
Predicting Scott to only score 66 points in a loss might have been my worst pick of all time. I was literally 100% off.

I was off on Jameis, who looked atrocious Thursday night. I was off on Gordon, who had his best game of the year, I was off on Zach Ertz, and I was off on Fournette, who most definitely kept his TD streak alive. Man, when he turned that corner and waved on Mitchell? Even sitting in Section 511, maybe 300 yards away, it was a terrifying sight.

On his 90-yard bonus TD, according to NextGen Stats, he hit the highest top speed of any player so far this season. I don't think since early AP have we seen a back so big, so fast, who looked like a man amongst boys in college looking like a man among lesser men in the NFL. It's something. Thank God we changed the rules so Chris or Scott can't steal Saquon Barkley from the 2018 draft.

I still have absolutely no feel for this season. Except for Hunt, and possibly Gurley, every single player is up and down from week to week. There's no consistency, no logic in who's going to be good in a given week. It's impossible. That's why we're seeing so many sub-70 AFFL scores this year and why every team in the league (even me) is still alive. (Probably not me)

My best guess is that it partly comes from what we saw last night. A team struggles in game, guys get hurt, the speed back comes in, converts a 3rd-and-4 and now the offense goes no huddle and the expected 20 carries for the main guy just dissolve. I really have no idea at this point, though.

Meyers got slightly boned by Gronk being a late scratch, but, uh, it didn't much matter.


THE NIGHT BOYS 82.8 - SIGMUND AND THE SEA MONSTER 75.9
Well, The Night Boys didn't crack triple digits like I thought they would, but they did win. Dak sealed this game (but not the Dallas game) with a great read option TD run, Aaron Jones looked great with 19.4, and Dez got in the end zone even though he didn't have a ton of yards.

Jones, again, I mean...I could've just as easily picked him up after Week 1. But every depth chart and article I saw said Jamaal Williams was the second stringer. Then, last week, we all see that Jones is much more lively than Williams is, and maybe even more than Montgomery is. I'm not whining or complaining; I'm just baffled. Could he not pass protect or something? Were the Packers just not giving him carries in practice? I really have no idea. Again, I think this season is just so hard to figure out. I mean, clearly. Maybe it's just me.

Not much to say about Tim in this one. With byes and such, he played his best available lineup. They just didn't score enough. Scored enough to beat me, but the schedule wasn't in his favor.